Shouts out to Lioness, Niamh, Scrapper, goodmike, Wing, and the Couch Baron.
After Alyssa Milano's breasts welcome us to an all-new WB Wednesday, and after Joshua "Mr. Lioness" Jackson welcomes us to an all-new Dawson's Creek, and after the interminable previously-in-the-land-of-bad-writing scenes from last week, we at last fade up on Sanctum Dawsonorum and a movie playing on Dawson's TV and a wolf in the movie howling and galloping along under a full moon, and off-screen, Dawson "Part Of This Complete Breakfast" Leery wonders aloud, "Is there anything more beautiful than a full moon? It looks close enough to touch, but it's really a million miles away." The camera pans across the room and lingers on the empty bed, and off-screen, Joey "The Vertebrate" Potter takes the air out of Dawson's ersatz profundity balloon by observing, "It's actually only 240,000 miles away, Dawson, and it won't be completely full until tomorrow." Cut to the roof outside Dawson's window as Dawson, whose hair looks like a bleached version of Sam The Eagle's from The Muppet Show, says, "Well -- it's still romantic," and Joey wants to know how the moon became "the state flower for romance" and describes the moon in very prosaic terms as just a satellite that reflects the sun's light, and Dawson starts babbling about the moon "casting its peaceful silent glow over a chaotic world -- I love a full moon," as he puts his arm around Joey with that buck-up-little-camper smile on his face. Joey questions his use of the word "peaceful" and says that weird things always happen during a full moon, and Dawson asks in his customary tone of amused condescension, "Is Joey Potter being superstitious?" Joey defends her statement as "scientific," and points out that, since humans are made up of seventy percent water, the moon exerts the same pull on people that it does on the tides; meanwhile, Dawson plants little kisses on her mouth and ear and says in an icky Roy Orbison-esque growl, "You're scaring me." Then he loses his balance and almost slides off the roof but, unfortunately, he catches himself, and Joey says, "Ha ha, very funny," and looks up at the moon while Dawson scrambles back up next to her with a sheepish little smile.
Credits. Carefree frolicking in J.Crew outfits; grammatically incorrect yowling.
I don't want to "Meet Joe Black," and you can't make me. Oh, and memo to Claire Forlani: whispering does not equal acting.
Fade up on scenes of Capeside. Cut to The Flash and TaMAHra discussing TaMAHra's Warehouse Of Great Contrivance. The Flash wants to see "those plans" one more time. TaMAHra doesn't mean to "sound desperate" (no comment), but she really wants to unload the property, so if The Flash wants to buy the place, she will "make [him] the fairest offer known to man," and I thought the buyer generally did the offering in real estate deals, first of all, and second of all, in light of the offers this woman has made to mere boys, it looks like The Flash should dust off that bondage gear in the attic, but anyway, The Flash asks, "Is it that bad being here?" and TaMAHra says, "Let's just say that Capeside really is a bridge I should burn." The Flash tells her that he will look over the plans once more and then he promises he will come to a decision. Memo to John Wesley Shipp: when attempting to convey an emotion, it often helps to move one or two of the muscles in your face.