Dawson's Creek
Gossip

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Finally, Oil Derrick admits that he did date Naomi in school. He claims that, one night, they had finally decided to take the plunge. But then she freaked out about it. He reminds Jones that she's met Naomi and knows she's not the most stable person. Well, yeah, but Goldie Hawn is her mother. I think that might make anybody a little off-kilter. He insists that he didn't rape her, and that plenty of women would be perfectly happy to sleep with him, as if rape has anything to do with somebody's ability to get laid. Then he turns total greaseball and inquires as to whether Jones was having second thoughts, too, knowing full well that she enjoyed their sexcapades. Jones, however, having yet to partake of the drinks Oil Derrick is mixing, is still in her wary anti-rich mode as she points out that Derrick never answered her question, although actually he did insist that he didn't rape Naomi. Oil Derrick explains that Naomi suffers from poor-little-rich-girl syndrome (is that covered by the Americans With Disabilities Act?) and wanted to do something "grown up" by having sex. Then she got afraid that Daddy would find out about it, and accused him of raping her. He claims that everybody in town thinks he's a rapist, and his family gave him a trust fund and told him to bugger off. Yeah, but didn't the clerk tell Jones that hardly anybody knew about what happened and that it didn't make the paper? He admits that he came up with the sex rumor in order to hurt Naomi back. Jones points out how cruel that is, but Oil Derrick reminds her that she didn't have the best of intentions when she started the rumor either. Yes, but then Naomi made her a screwdriver and now they're BFF. Oil Derrick allows that they might have made a mistake, but they're young and in college and that's when they're supposed to make mistakes. Yeah, I'm sure that when Beau gets out of prison, he'll be thrilled to have been part of your incredibly steep learning curve into adulthood. I guess there are limits to what you can learn from the "People Are People" theorem. He gives a creepy speech about not wanting to be nice, because "nice people don't live life." He doesn't want to go through life just being nice and discovering he's a nobody when he gets old. So you're either a vindictive greaseball or a doormat? Dude, that road you're on has a middle. You don't have to drive in the gutters. He tries to give Jones a drink, but she knocks it out of his hand to shatter on the floor. Uh oh. The angry proletarian will not be calmed with liquor this time! Jones makes to leave. She asks Travis to come with her, but he declines, because Oil Derrick is the only person on earth who thinks he's an actual artist. Jones stomps out alone.

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Dawson's Creek

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