Okay, I giggle every time that Arizona Jean guy gets hit in the goolies with the softball. Every damn time.
Alexander is having a teething moment. Joey offers to leave with Bessie, but Bessie -- bad bangs, cute twin set -- tells her to stay and "be with your friends." No, Bessie, don't go! Don't leave us here with . . . Dawson, who walks over to Joey, and I plug every orifice in my head with a Maalox bottle in preparation for the inevitable use of the word "soulmates." Happily, it never happens; Joey quizzes Dawson on "what's up with" his parents, and he says he just saw "the final chapter in the Mitch-Gail saga." Evidently, the Leerys' divorce is now final. Dawson melodramatizes, "The Leerys of Capeside are officially finished as a family." Joey gently expresses her condolences, and Dawson accepts them. Joey asks what Dawson said when they told him, and Dawson said he "really let them have it this time -- I looked them both in the eye, and I said, 'Congratulations.'" He smiles ruefully; Joey also looks rueful and says, "Good for you, Dawson." Huh? Dawson rambles on a bit about finally having a decision one way or the other and the only homes we have are the ones we make ourselves, pity-partycakes, and Joey sighs, "I know what you mean." Dawson suggests that they "really cut loose tonight," and when Joey raises a brow, he goes on, "Act out our teenage ennui in wanton and destructive ways." First of all, "ennui"? Second of all, "wanton"? And third of all, what would this destructiveness entail, Dawson -- ramming your cranium into the side of a building and watching it collapse in on itself? Joey makes a skeptical face and asks, "What d'you have in mind?" and Dawson replies, "Sex. Drugs, rock 'n' roll," and Joey smiles and rolls her eyes. Dawson says, "Or we could just sit right here and have a mind-blowing three-hour conversation." Yeah, you do that. Outside. On Cape Cod. In November. In your freakin' shirtsleeves. While everyone in the viewing audience searches frantically for a six-gauge needle with which to pierce their eyeballs.