Dawson's Creek
Guess Who's Coming To Dinner

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Guess Who's Coming To Dinner

Thanks to Nicole, Witch Baby, and Wing Chun.

Previously on DC: Dawson spots a picture of Jen's mom (slap) Eve's mom (slap) Jen's mom (slap) Eve's mom (slap); The Faithless Hussy returns; Pacey tells Andie that maybe she didn't make a mistake by sleeping with Marc; Jen and Pacey consider becoming "friends with a bullet."

Fade up in a twee little market. Jen "Daffy" Lindley tells Pacey "Easy Like Sunday Morning" Witter not to let her forget the creamed onions. Pacey makes "oh, barf" noises at the thought of creamed onions, and Jen tells him she'll keep "all offending vegetables" out of his sight, but Pacey says, "You know, Jen, when I suggested that we hook up today, this is not exactly what I had in mind." Jen says she knows that, but adds that "Grams's Thanksgiving feast takes precedence over our burgeoning sex life." "Burgeoning"? Pacey whispers that they don't actually have a sex life yet, and Jen wants to know if he thinks that's her fault; Pacey says yes, he does. Jen explains that she's having a hard time taking Pacey seriously in that way, and she "cracks" "up" in the least convincing simulation of laughter I've seen so far this season, on any show. "Foreplay is no laughing matter," Pacey chides her, adding that a man doesn't "do his best work in the face of scorn and derision," and Jen brings her totally-not-uncontrollable fake laughter under control in order to say, "It's just that we're friends, right? And seeing as how we are friends, but now we're friends that --" The word you want here, Jen, is "fuck." "Friends that fuck." If you can't bring yourself to say it, you probably shouldn't contemplate doing it. Just a suggestion. Anyhow, Jen finishes by saying that it might take her some time to get used to the whole fuck-buddies idea. She sidles up to Pacey and asks if maybe they could "find a moment later?" Pacey says he can't; he has to make an appearance at his parents' house for Thanksgiving. He then proceeds to deliver his customary my-family-life-sucks homily, seasoning this one with the observations that "the Witter women" will spend the day cooking, only to have the Sheriff tell them that "the Butterball is too dry," even though he spent the whole day on his ass getting drunk in front of the football game. Jen remarks that, in spite of the dread creamed onions, "ya gotta love Grams for offering an alternative," and suddenly I feel an overwhelming urge to run out and by Nantucket Nectars juice drinks in a wide array of delicious flavors! Why? Why do I feel such an urge? Perhaps because an entire product-placed row of the little bastards is clearly visible over Jen's shoulder during this exchange? Ah, yes. Pacey asks transparently who else is attending Grams's shindig. Jen says, "Don't worry, Pacey. Andie politely declined the invite," and Pacey pretends he doesn't care, and Jen says Andie is making dinner for Clan McPhee. Pacey says that "sounds nice" and comments that Andie needs family. Yeah, in a world where "family" means "Thorazine," maybe. Pacey looks sad, so Jen moves to give him a hug, and when Pacey clumsily says how good Jen smells, Jen starts fake-giggling again, and Pacey gripes, "Oh, come on!" and Jen apologizes for giggling.

Credits. Cat getting shaved with a dull, rusty straight razor.

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