Dawson's Creek
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Episode Report Card
Sars: D | 2 USERS: B
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In the hallway at Capeside High, cheerleaders wander around with their hair in multi-ponytailed 'dos, carrying blue and yellow balloons and squealing. Joey frowns at them and smoothes her hair. Behind her, Pacey hides behind a cardboard cutout of the Capeside Minuteman (no comment), making it appear to "walk" alongside Joey, and she gives the cutout a strange look but keeps walking, and after a moment, Pacey drops the cutout and mocks the cheerleaders by shriek in a falsetto, "Like, oh my god, go team, ah ha ha ha ha!" It sounds dumb, but it was actually pretty funny. Joey laughs and says, "For a minute, I thought you had been possessed by these school-spirit creatures from the planet Overzealous." Pacey says he's considering "making a run for it before the pods hatch," and invites Joey to cut class with him, and she pretends to consider it but then sarcastically declines. Pacey asks, "What if I told you there was [sic] a mission to my madness?" Joey asks if he's serious, and Pacey uses a French accent (don't ask, because I just don't know) to request Joey's presence for a "pressing appointment," but he won't tell her exactly what it entails. She orders him to tell her. He won't, and she says she won't come if he won't tell her what he has planned, and he teases her some more, adding that she has ten seconds to take a chance and come with him. Of course, she decides to go. Pacey makes fun of her for breaking down after only six seconds: "I thought you'd last at least eight." Joey snaps, "I loathe you!" and follows him. Oh, yeah -- those two will totally hook up.

Dawson interviews Jack on the field. I mentioned to Wing Chun the other day that I sort of regretted calling Jack "Pinhead" last season, because now I sort of have a crush on Kerr Smith, but now that he has to wear those buffoonish uniform pads all the time, well, they make his head look really, um, small. Pin-sized, in fact. Anyhow, Maxihead asks Minihead if he loved football as a child, and Jack says he just started playing, and "the only subject I know less about is being gay, actually."

Speaking of The Flash, his hairy knee appears on the bench next to Jack, and The Flash says pointedly that Jack has learned "the importance of starting practice on time," and he gives Jack a big old homoerotic clonk on the shoulderpad with his clipboard, so Jack gets up, and The Flash harangues him good-naturedly about his time on "the forty" and sends him on his way, and speaking of forties, I could use a forty of Olde English right about now. Dawson wants to "take care of the Coach Leery interview," and The Flash mutters, "Not now, Dawson," while looking at his play sheet, and Dawson points out, "It's due tomorrow," and The Flash says that Dawson can get an extension, but the team has a big game on Saturday and he wants the team "completely -- focused -- on football, okay?" Dawson looks crestfallen.

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Dawson's Creek




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