Dawson's Creek
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Episode Report Card
Sars: D | 1 USERS: C-
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At school, Principal Green approaches Andie, saying he needs to talk to her about a "critical problem" that recently came to his attention. Andie asks what kind of problem, and he says, "It's a disciplinary matter," and he can't discuss it with her now, but she should come to his office on Monday "and we'll go over all our options in detail." Andie squirms like a butterfly on a pin. Principal Green says, "Monday morning. Be there," and leaves her to simmer in the sauce of her own guilt. Considering that Andie emerged from a psychiatric facility only a few short weeks ago, wouldn't the whole PSAT-cheating thing have a slightly graver effect on her than, say, the Three's Company-style wackiness the writers have opted for?

Principal Green marches into his office, which contains Pacey and Joey sitting in front of his desk, and tells them that, since Pacey had such a creative excuse for ditching school (whatever), he's decided to respond in kind. Pacey tries a little sucking-up, which prompts Joey to call Pacey "Eddie Haskell." They bicker while Principal Green futzes around behind them. Principal Green shouts, "Enough!" and thumps a large cardboard box down on the floor, saying that the two of them obviously "have an affinity for one another" and opening the box. They look in it. Joey: "No way." Pacey: "Oh, that's not gonna happen." Gee, I wonder what the box could possibly have inside? Not my Maalox shipment, obviously -- the box is far too small.

Jack stumbles over Andie sitting on the stairs and asks her what's wrong. She wants to know "why would anything be wrong" and Jack says that, unless she's "smoking or making out," her sitting on the stairs "of a public high school" is cause for concern. He pulls her off the stairs and invites her to take a look at the footage of his interview. Andie gasps, "You went through with it?" Jack doesn't see the big deal, and Andie begins rambling about things rocking "your safe little world" and what if "maybe you had a terrible moment of weakness" and a bunch of other Prattling Of Ironic Double Meaning that is apparently supposed to apply to both her and Jack. Or something. Anyhow, Jack just stares at her and then asks, "Why are you being so paranoid?" Andie, in a high-pitched whine remarkably similar to that of a miter saw, keeps on about mistakes and errors in judgment, and throws in an ill-considered car-wreck metaphor just for good measure (no comment). Jack joins the rest of North America in asking, "What the hell are you talking about?" Andie means public shaming, exposure, and breaking their father's heart. Jack looks taken aback as Andie chatters on about Angry Pants; he thinks Andie is talking about him, but of course she's really talking about herself. Jack tells her to chill. Andie warns Jack to think things through. Hello, American Ironworks? Can I get an anvil delivered to -- oh, never mind, an anvil just arrived. And landed on me. Again.

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Dawson's Creek




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