Dawson's Creek
Homecoming

Episode Report Card
Sars: D | 2 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Homecoming

Loon E. Tunes Psychiatric Facility. Pacey wheedles in the general direction of the nurse at the front desk. The nurse says Andie doesn't get released until the next day. Pacey explains that that's why it's a surprise. The nurse says they "try to avoid surprises" and that Andie can't leave today without her own written consent. Minors can just, like, sign themselves out? Pacey says he'll get Andie's consent, but to do so, he has to go in and talk to her. The nurse says he can see her the next day when visiting hours resume. Pacey mutters, "You've gotta be kidding me," and the nurse does the side-to-side with her head and asks, "Does this look like a face that kids?" Not with the DC writers in charge the dialogue, it doesn't.

Outside. Pacey kvetches to Joey "Flying Free" Potter that they won't let Andie out and they won't let him in either. Joey takes his hand, jumps down from her seat on the front of the truck, and says, "Follow me." She drags Pacey up the front walk.

Inside, Joey harangues the nurse at the front desk: "You don't understand. I need to see a doctor immediately." The nurse informs her that they "don't do walk-ins." Joey splutters, "This is a moral injustice -- I have psychiatric concerns!" "Well, obviously," says the nurse, and I concur, since Joey did go out with Dawson. Twice. Anyway, Joey says, "Fine, if that's the way it is then I guess you'll just have to do," and she hops up on the counter and starts telling the nurse her life story, starting with Dawson and proceeding via flashback to her mother's death blah blah blah fishcakes, and as the nurse listens raptly (whatever), Joey motions with her hand for Pacey to crawl past the counter and sneak into Andie's room, which he does, accompanied by The Bass Guitar Of Unsuccessful Slapstick. Joey launches into a rosy description of Dawson.

Jump cut to Dawson snorting, "That's propaganda." Heh. Across the desk, Principal Green agrees with him, but says he needs someone to recut footage of the football team into an inspiring film, and The Flash said Dawson could do it. Mr. Green launches into purple sporting prose lifted directly from the credit sequence of Wide World Of Sports, and Dawson points out that the Minutemen haven't won a game in three years, and Mr. Green says that he knows that, but the film would emphasize "not what is, but what could be," and no sooner do I mutter to myself, "Way to rip off Leni Riefenstahl," than Dawson smirks, "The Leni Riefenstahl approach. You know, the Nazis did this too." All right, I'll give the writers a modicum of credit for getting a cultural reference right for a change, but I feel I should point out that Dawson mispronounced "Riefenstahl." Mr. Green, not about to take Dawson's pretensions lying down, points out that Capra and Woody Allen also inspired people, but Dawson spots Eve outside and stops listening, and then he interrupts, "I'll do it, I'll do it -- can I go now?" He grabs his stuff and books outside after Eve, and when he and his dorky brown booties and white socks catch up to her, he informs her, "I'm warning you -- this is the last time I'm going to chase you," and then he bitches about how he doesn't want to get back into the bad habit of chasing after women. Eve, clad in a paisley Band-Aid instead of a proper top, sneers, "Oh, so you're one of those, are you?" "One of whom?" Dawson asks. "Whom"? Eve: "You know, one of those guys who spend the rest of their life [sic] comparing every relationship to their first one?" I hate to say it, but she's got a point. Dawson tries to deny doing that, and Eve says brightly, "Oh, so you're completely over her?" Dawson: "Over who?" Eve: "Nice try -- the brunette it took you all of five minutes to bring up on the bus?" Dawson wants to change the subject; Eve says, "Motion denied," and asks again if he's over Joey, and after a long moment, Dawson says too casually, "Yes." Eve doesn't buy it. Dawson asks why she asked, and she says she wanted to see if he'd tell her the truth, which he didn't, and then she says, "I like that." Huh? Dawson asks, "What else turns you on -- greed and corruption?" Oh, okay. Heh. Eve blurts out, "Sex," and backing him up against a tree (no comment), she goes on, "Sex turns me on, Dawson." Dawson observes glibly that "it tends to do that to people." Eve asks sarcastically, "And you would know -- how?" Ouch. Dawson says he will choose to ignore that slight. Eve says maybe it wasn't a slight but an invitation, and when Dawson asks what she means, she proposes "a night of scorching hot, unbridled, mind-altering sex." Um, Eve? You'll get no such thing from a sixteen-year-old boy.

Anyhow. Dawson asks, "Just like that? No first date, no months of getting to know each other?" and Eve blows those things off as "small-town rituals for small-town girls" and says maybe it'll help Dawson get over Joey. "You're on," Dawson says with a bravado he obviously doesn't feel, and Eve says she'll take care of the time and place, and Dawson should "take care of being prepared." He asks how to find her. She says he doesn't find her -- she finds him. As she wriggles away, Dawson says to himself, "It is so my day."

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Dawson's Creek

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