Radio Station. Jen and The Wig are hanging out and talking about Donovan, of all things, a conversation that leads The Wig to comment that Jen "sounds like someone who doesn't like losing control." I know, I have no idea how he got that from disliking Donovan, either. Jen sniffs and asks that they leave "personal stuff" out of this, and just "stick to the music." How much do I hate this whole crap about "the music"? This isn't Almost Famous, people. The Wig wonders lecherously if Jen has a boyfriend. "That's none of your business," Jen sniffs. The Wig's all, fine. "It's over," he says. Jen's all, "What? My relationship? How do you know that? Who are you? How dare you? Will you marry me?" "The song," The Wig tells her, nodding at the controls. Jen chuckles nervously and races over to kill the dead air. Meanwhile, Audrey and The Beard are yammering about The Beard's life back in Charlottesville. He takes out his wallet to show her a picture of his girlfriend and mentions that she's getting her Ph.D. in cultural anthropology. Audrey examines the photograph dully. The Beard looks at her and says that she must think his life is very boring. I think this entire subplot is very boring. "Doesn't seem very rock and roll, does it?" The Beard asks. Audrey agrees, and asks if he ever has the urge to "do something bad." The Beard shrugs. "Yeah. But I don't. I love my girlfriend." Yada yada yada, this is the part of the episode where Audrey learns about Life And Love from a stranger.
The Straightest Gay Bar In The World. Jack comes back from the bathroom to find Pacey chatting up some guy. He's talking about bread, which isn't a particularly effective pick-up line on men or on women. Jack smiles at the guy wanly, then pulls Pacey away for a moment. Pacey explains that the guy he's talking to is a major food critic, and he was talking up Liberty Hell in hopes that Food Critic will give them a write-up. Aw, Pacey's a whore. A whore for his work. That's so cute. "What does he want in return?" Jack asks, all suggestive-eyebrow-y. "You don't think that he thinks I'm ?" Pacey wonders. Jack's all, well, unless you told him that you weren't gay, then yes. Pacey rolls his eyes. "Jack, look at me," he says. "Really look. I'm a schlub. I would be an insult to gaydom." Jack's all, yes. Yes, you are. Much like my character is. But Food Critic was talking to you, and acting like you're fascinating, Jack says. "You're not that interesting," Jack says, pointing out that no stranger listens that hard to anyone unless they're looking for nookie. Realization dawns on Pacey. "I think for the first time in my life, I understand what it must be like to be a woman," he breathes. "A really hot woman." Jack snorts. "Um. You're not that hot," he says. "I'm not?" Pacey asks. "Not really," Jack tells him. Heh. Kerr Smith and Josh Jackson have really excellent comic timing together. The boys stare at each other, then Jack shakes his head like he can't believe they're having this conversation and asks Pacey what he plans to do. Pacey agrees that he doesn't want Food Critic to think he was misleading him. And Jack's all, "All right, then I'm just going to go over and explain what an idiot you are." Pacey nixes this and wonders if they can't just gloss over the whole sexual orientation thing. At least until Food Critic agrees to write a story on Liberty Hell. "Because that would mean a ton of business for my restaurant," he reiterates. Jack stares at him. "What are you going to do when he asks you for a number?" he asks. Pacey grins. "I will look him right in the eye and give him your number," he says. Jack cracks up. "No, come on, we're telling him the truth," he says.