Dawson's Creek

Episode Report Card

On the beach, Richie explains his grassy-knoll theory on JFK's assassination by means of a sand model of Dallas. He and Joey flirtatiously debate various conspiracy theories; Joey shares her UFO theory, which involves aliens swooping down and destroying entire cities, by which she means that Richie's sand version of Dallas does not have long for this world. He says, "Oh, no you don't," and tackles her, and she crawls away, but eventually he gets on top of her and leans down to kiss her with the surf roaring away, just like in From Here To Eternity, and as Sars dodges the falling anvils, Joey wimps out and says, "L-look at the time -- I, I gotta go, my parents are expecting me." Richie gives her a skeptical look and asks, "Is that the truth, or are you just trying to wiggle out of a romantic situation?" She apologizes, and Richie helps her up and says something about taking Cinderella home. Joey levels "Dallas" with the Frisbee and turns back to Richie and says that she had a lot of fun today, "but you need to know the truth." Richie shrugs gamely and says, "And that would be?" Joey says shyly, "I'm not Cinderella -- not even close," and walks away. Richie looks perplexed.

Oy vey -- okay, film shoot. Cliff: "This is the shot, I can feel it." Dawson rolling his eyes; Jen, from the sidelines, shooting him a sympathetic glance. The shot rolling again. Cliff: "Cut!" Pacey tooling up to Dawson in a wheelchair (huh?). Dawson greeting him; Nellie also greeting him by asking, "What's loser friend doing here?" Dawson kicking Pacey out of the wheelchair. Nellie telling Cliff the "moving tracking thing" won't work and asking if they can just give up on it and use the tripod. Dawson, whose hair looks like Siegfried but with bedhead, pushing the wheelchair around the camera and asking them to let him "do it." Nellie exploding that she has "had it" with Dawson. Sars nodding in complete agreement. Cliff telling Nellie to chill and wanting to hear Dawson's idea. Jump cut to Pacey pulling Dawson Iditarod-style in the wheelchair while Dawson holds the camera. They get the shot, everybody applauds, and Dawson's head swells up another size while Nellie pouts. What. Ever.

The Icehouse. Jen compliments Dawson for putting Nellie "right in her place." Dawson, smugly: "Thank you. The real filming is yet to come." Joey comes up and takes their order in an altogether uncharacteristically perky fashion. Jen and Dawson both try not to stare at her while ordering turkey clubs and Cokes and confiding their plans to shoot at "magic hour" in the ruins, and when she disappears into the kitchen, Jen asks, "What has gotten into Joey?" Dawson, shaking his head in disbelief: "I don't know, it's bizarre." As Joey puts up the order sheet, we hear Bessie bitch, "You were late. Look, I'm in charge until you turn eighteen or Dad gets paroled, whatever comes first." Joey bustles past her to set up the drinks as Bessie goes on, "We have to help each other out, Joey, that's just the way it has to be." Joey, unbothered, says, "I'm sorry -- ruin my good mood. I'm just trying to have a moment of happiness in an otherwise pathetic existence." When Bessie sort of sneers in response, Joey says drily, "You can relate, can't you?" Then Joey spots Richie Rich strolling up the front walk of the restaurant and freezes, and she grabs the sodas, plunks them down in front of Jen and Dawson, whips her apron off while mumbling something about "a break," scoots into a seat next to Dawson, and quickly faces front as Richie enters the Icehouse. Jen asks, "Who's that?" Joey, too fast: "Nobody." Jen: "Kind of a cute 'nobody.'" "Who?" Dawson butts in. Richie approaches Joey and says, "Hey, Deborah," and she chokes out, "Hey," and he asks, "What are you doing here? I thought you were going to meet your parents." Dawson: "Who's Deborah?" Richie says that Joey is Deborah, which Dawson incredulously denies, and Joey looks more and more mortified as Richie says, "Oh, she's not -- well, then, who did I spend the afternoon with? An impostor?"

Jen, bless her heart, puts an end to the pissing contest and comes to Joey's rescue with, "It's just that -- we don't call her 'Deborah,' she's just 'Deb' to us." Joey gives Jen a grateful look as Richie asks if Jen and Dawson "are from New York as well," and as Dawson once again wonders "what's going on here," Jen again covers Joey's butt by saying she and Dawson "are just passing through" and that she and Joey/Deborah "go to school together -- and you are?" Richie introduces himself. Dawson pointedly invites "Deb's friend whom we've never met, ever" to join them, and Richie says he'll just get "a takeout [sic]," and just when we think Joey has made it into the clear, Bessie sticks her head out of the kitchen and calls, "Sandwiches up!" Jen and Dawson don't hide their amusement at Joey's predicament; Joey looks horrified. Dawson tries to help, sort of, by saying that the Icehouse's food is good, but the service is "a little iffy." Richie asks if Joey's "parents" will let her come out later, and she says she doesn't think so -- "big family Scrabble tournament tonight." Bessie, getting exasperated: "Hey, Joey!" Joey, getting desperate: "I might be able to sneak away later." Richie says she knows where to find him as Bessie snaps, "Planet earth to Joey!" Joey, frantic to get rid of Richie: "I'll come by after the game." Dawson suggests, "Hey, 'charade' is a great seven-letter word you can use in that Scrabble game," and Joey glares at him with the hatred of a thousand suns as Jen cringes, and they both kick Dawson really hard through the slats of their stools. Just then, Bodie appears with a paper bag and says, "Here you go. That's seven-fifty," and he asks Joey pointedly, "Miss, would you -- would you like anything?" Joey, beaming: "No, but -- thank you." Richie goes to pick up his order, bidding farewell to the gang, and Bessie mock-glares at Joey, and Dawson and Jen both stare at her as Jen says softly, "Well." I had forgotten all about that little vignette, and I understand why Joey would resent Jen, but she owes Jen big-time, no question.

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Dawson's Creek




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