Previously on Dawson's Creek: Pacey and Drue toasted to the future; Joey thanked Jen for bringing her to New York, which blew Joey's mind (the New York part, not the Jen-bringing-her part); Doug called Pacey "a moron and a failure," and Pacey lunged at him; Gretchen refused to sleep with Dawson; the snake convinced Eve to eat the apple.
Fade up on the living room of Expectant Estates, where Mitch "The Flash" Leery, attired in blazer-over-black-tee Stallone-wear, complains about how long Gale "Any Day Now" Leery is taking to get dressed. On the couch, "We Have Met The Enemy, And It Is" Dawson Leery and Gretchen "Old Faithful" Witter snack on popcorn. Unfunny sexist jokes about Gale's 65-inch waist and how that's "so not what to say" to a pregnant woman; expositional wisecracking about the fact that the baby's two weeks overdue. From upstairs, Gale bellows that "we have to go -- now!" As light-hearted guitar noodlings signal wackiness on the horizon, Gale waddles down the stairs, holding her pregnancy pad and doing the clenched-teeth-groaning woman-in-labor thing in case we don't get it. Mitch asks how long she's "been contracting," and she snaps, "Long enough to hurt," and as another contraction comes over her, she wilts onto Dawson's shoulder. Gretchen holds Gale up on the other side, and the four of them hurry down the front hall, accompanied by resolutely non-amusing back-and-forth about Gale's suitcase and calling the doctor and bringing the "birthing music," and the Flash assures her that he's "got Enya, John Tesh, Kenny G," and Gale snarls back that she's having a baby, not "going into a coma," and as they clatter off the porch, we hear the Flash offering to "sing for" Gale and Gale kvetching about a cell phone, and Dawson watches them go and smugs that that pretty much "does it" for their evening, and Gretchen nods, "Pretty much," and then they both make "she's in labor -- eeee!" faces, which made me laugh.
Credits. Cat going into labor.
At the hospital, Gale complains, "It's not happening?" A doctor explains that "they're called Braxton-Hicks contractions -- false labor," and Gale gripes that "there is nothing false about these contractions," like, did your water break? No? Then it's not labor.
Sars: Dude, quit walking in front of the TV.
Contrivance: I can't find my wallet.
Sars: It's on the table. The other table. No, the other other table.
Contrivance: I can't --