Dawson's Creek

Episode Report Card

Credits. Still accompanied by Paula Cole strangling a cat in her throat, the first-season credits feature mugging by the cast as they sun themselves, attempt to chuck one another into the water, wander around on the beach, and generally give the khakis advertisers the most for their product-placement dollar.

Capeside outdoor scenes. Sailboats cruise past a dock where Joey tans herself to the accompaniment of Jaws-esque music. The camera zooms in, and a few seconds later someone in a reptile outfit surfaces and pulls Joey into the water, deck chair and all. Dawson yells, "Cut, cut, cut!" and blathers stage directions as Pacey "Coo Coo Ka Choo" Witter flounders to the edge of the dock, only to get dunked again by an irate Joey. As they straggle out of the water, Pacey wonders, "What was that all about?" and Dawson tells him he needs to establish the shot "or it’s not scary," and Sars thinks Dawson should step in front of the lens since it doesn’t get much scarier than that forehead, and Joey snarls at Pacey, "You did it again, you grabbed my ass," and Pacey waves a dismissive hand and says, "Like you even have one." (Snerk.) Dawson reacts to this by -- what a surprise! -- running his hands through his hair in dismay, complaining that he’s way behind schedule and won’t "make the festival." Hey, Dawson? Rocky from Mask called, and he wants his forehead back. Oh, and could you shut up? Great, thanks. Anyway, Pacey blames Joey, saying that "it’s Meryl Streep’s fault, okay? I’m doing the best I can." Joey snaps, "Bite me." At that moment, Dawson gets distracted by a yellow cab pulling up to the house next door.

Enter Jen "Trichinosis" Lindley, in lust-addled slo-mo, as an alter-not-ive band croons "hey pretty girl" on the soundtrack and Pacey mangles the English language by saying, "Well, my mouth drops," and heads over to mack on her. Dawson follows him. Joey sulks. Jen walks over to meet them, still in slo-mo, except that instead of creating the desired effect -- i.e. Jen as breathtaking beauty -- the footage reveals that Jen walks like a tank, not to mention that the wind happens to have blown her dress against her body in a really unflattering way. Memo to the producers: next time, spend the extra money to reshoot that sequence, because a sopping-wet Joey looks ten times better than Jen does in this scene. Anyway, they introduce themselves around, and Dawson and Jen remember meeting before, and Joey sulks some more, and Jen explains that her parents sent her to help out because her grandfather’s aorta collapsed, and they all realize they’ll start tenth grade together in a few days, and the guys look happy about this, but Joey decidedly does not, and Jen takes off and says she’ll see them in school, and Dawson pipes up, "If not sooner," and Joey mimics him, "’If not sooner,’" and walks away. Pacey murmurs, "Nice," as the two of them watch Jen and her frumpy baby-doll dress walk over to Grams’s house.

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Dawson's Creek




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