Credits. Cat getting dressed in a novelty pet tuxedo.
Back from commercials to the Ryan Home. In Jen's room, Tobey "Tobi! Tobé!" entertains "The Abyss Looks Back Into" Jen Lindley and Jack "Is A Fictional Character Played By Kerr Smith, Who Is Not Gay And Who Doesn't Think That Teenagers Need To See Two Guys Kissing On A Weekly Basis, And It's A Good Thing He Told Us That On Page 14 Of Entertainment Weekly, Because Otherwise We Might Think That He Endorsed Homosexuality, Because We Can't Tell The Difference Between The Actor And The Character He Plays, And Because God Forbid A Straight Man Playing A Gay Character Just Does His Job And Supports The Right Of Gay Teens To See Themselves Represented On Primetime Television, And I Totally Don't Hope That The Ghost Of Paul Lynde Floats Over To Kerr's House And Jams That Undeserved GLAAD Award Up His Ass -- Oh, Wait, We Can, He Should, I Totally Do, And SHUT UP KERR YOU STUPID-ASS TOURETTE'S-ADDLED FRAT RAT" McPhee with tales of past proms. Apparently, Tobey's fifteen and he's at some girl's senior prom, and he tells her that he's gay, so she hikes her tongue down his throat and then grabs his hand and puts it on her wonderfulness and tells him to give her an hour and she'll rock his world. Heh. I think I know that girl, actually. Jack and Jen laugh, scandalized. Tobey says not to let his "horror stories" put them off; he's sure they'll have a great time. Then he makes to leave for a doctor's appointment, saying that it's the last one after "the incident," and Jen gets up to hug and kiss him goodbye. Tobey wishes her luck in finding a dress, and tells her to keep the prom-issue magazines scattered all over the bed…except for Cosmo, which he snags for the sex quiz. Hee hee! I heart Tobey. Then he and Jack shake hands, which seems a little too straight, but whatever, and Tobey tells Jack to call him, he wants to hear all the "prom-related details," and then he bolts.
Jen closes the door behind him and turns to fix Jack with a very funny "and…so?" look. Jack tells her not to start. Jen's all, "Hey, I didn't say anything," and Jack's all, "You don't have to, so don't, because no, I'm not asking Tobey to the prom," and Jen's all, "Why not? You like him, you have fun together, he wants you to ask him 'cause he couldn't shut up about prom prom prom just now," and Jack's like, "Um, remember Gayoda? Yeah. Not going there, don't want to deal with it," and Jen says on behalf of everyone in the viewing audience, "Jack? Nobody cares. Just -- take the boy to prom." Jack accuses her of trying to get out of going to prom by making him go with Tobey, and shouts, "Just pick a dress!" Jen protests that it's fine, she'll just go stag, but Jack reminds her of Tobey's "more-than-platonic feelings" and says he can't ask Tobey to the prom or he'll get the wrong idea. Jen tries to argue some more. They do a little Dr. Evil "eh -- zip it -- but -- hey -- no." Jack tells her again to pick a dress.