Dawson's Creek
Promicide

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Breaking the waves

Infancy Inn. Dawson emerges, attired in a sharp black three-button suit with a black tie; it's actually a look that suits him much better than a traditional tuxedo (viz. his kit in "The Anti-Prom"). On the patio, Mitch "The Flash" Leery, holding a bundle of Lillian, and Gale "Go Kegels Go!" Leery await him, and Gale makes "our little boy's all grown up" noises, and The Flash makes "he looks like a man to me" noises, and I make puking noises. Gale takes a picture with Dawson and the baby. Oh, good move. Because babies wait to spit up until you've got an old sweatshirt on. Not. They wait to spit up for no man. Anyway, during the photo op, Gale keeps blathering about "I can't believe it's your senior prom" and "you look just like your father," and Dawson whispers to Lily to ignore them -- they might seem "a little strange sometimes, but they're actually very good parents." Lily gurgles. It's hard to tell, but I think she's saying, "Mommy, call my agent!" Enter Joey, wearing the lavender Delia's dress and a periwinkle wrap; she has her hair in a low ponytail, and she looks very nice. Gale coos that Joey looks "breathtaking" and herds her together with Dawson for a picture. The Flash disabuses Dawson of Lily, and Dawson compliments Joey; sounding surprised, she thanks him, and tells him he looks good too. Gale tells them to smile, and they do; they actually look sort of nice together, possibly for the first time ever. Lily starts fussing, possibly because newborns can't stomach that much treacle in their diets, and The Flashes get distracted, and Joey and Dawson both start to say something at the same time, and Joey tells Dawson to go ahead, so he says that when he looks back at everything that's happened "since last year's prom," he's "really glad [they] ended up here." Joey beams and says she's glad too. Dawson calls the two of them "so healthy it just makes me wanna puke." Snerk. Word. Joey agrees that "it is quite sickening, right?"

Okay, writers? I actually don't hate these two as friends. Dawson's still sort of icky about the whole What Went Down Last Spring thing, and Joey's still sort of gross about always thinking of him first, but they work well together as friends, and they have friendly moments together where I like them both, like in the Christmas episode when he gave her the picture and in the post-ski-trip episode where Dawson kicked Joey in the ass. So before you shove them back into a relationship again, you should think it over. Because you almost never let the kids just do the friend thing on this show, and when you do -- Jen and Joey, Jack and Dawson -- it works a lot better than all the heavy relationship angst.

Anyway, the moment is interrupted by the arrival of Clan Witter. Gretchen, decked out in the deep blue sparkly number from before, has her hair ironed; the dress is great, but the hair is not so great. Pacey is shoehorned into a tux, and scowling. Dawson compliments Gretchen, Gretchen compliments Dawson, and Dawson continues his strange trend of not totally sucking during the episode by courteously asking how she's doing with the not-getting-the-job thing: "Better?" "Much," she says. Gale wants a picture of "the ceremonial pinning of the corsage," and can I just say that I think it's high time corsages got the heave as a formalwear tradition? The boys don't know how to pin them, we girls don't want to wear them in the first place, and it's not 1910 anymore. Enough. Anyway, there's a long, deliberate, do-you-get-it-sure-absolutely-sure-you-get-it-okay-good pan down to the corsage in Pacey's hands, which is wilted and crusty. Pacey says he bought them yesterday; Gretchen sighs that he's supposed to have refrigerated them. Nobody told Pacey that. Well, the florist would have told him, because the florist would have dealt with generations of clueless boys, but anyway, everyone else makes "ah, whatever, no biggie" noises, and Dawson asks Gale if they can snag foliage from the garden instead. Gale calls that a great idea and heads off to gather flowers, and Dawson smiles, "Just tell me you didn't forget the limo." "Of course I didn't forget the limo," Pacey grumps, and Dawson's smile slumps a little as he makes a "what'd I say?" face. The Flash hands Lily to Joey to get a picture of all of them, but Pacey's walking away, and when Joey asks where he's going, he mutters sadly, "I'll be right back." Joey frowns. The frown deepens when Drue, looking quite natty in his tux, crosses the lawn and heartily wishes all of them a happy prom. Gretchen, Joey, and Dawson make "wah wah" faces as Drue -- who's got a corsage box the size of downtown Topeka under his arm -- expositions that he's there to meet his date, "the one and only Jen Lindley." Then he adds, "Oh, a baby! Can I hold it?" Everyone on the patio in unison: "No." Okay, that's a rip-off of Mark not letting Dr. Dave hold the Greenespawn on ER last week, but still -- hee.

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Dawson's Creek

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