Man, it's been a long time since I've written one of these. Civilizations have arisen, fallen, and been rebuilt again. Species have gone extinct. I have felt my youth ebbing away like the tide. And always, always, the knowledge that I still have five Dawson's Creek recaps to write -- not to mention the season premiere -- has been hanging over my head like the Sword of Damocles. It is time that I slay the force that has held me captive. It is time to address Episode 108.

Oh yeah -- props to Jenga, Kim, and the lovely Sars.

Dawson "Mewling Muesli" Leery is moping at his window seat as Joey "Stalin" Potter tries a tough-love approach to get him over Jen "Pig from the City" Lindley: "You haven't eaten and you stare at Jen's house like it's going to disappear. And I've seen you at school. You spy. It's twisted. I mean, I'm almost afraid to ask what movie you brought back." With some shame, Dawson confesses it's "Sid and Nancy." If only that meant Dawson were planning a real-life heroin binge in homage to the doomed Sid! Joey tells him his movie choice proves that he's "getting off on this." Dawson gets off the window seat and starts flailing his arms about the room with all the grace of an ourangoutan on Quaaludes, and declaims: "It's tough to come up with creative moping strategies once I realized that everything I'm about is exactly what turned her off. It's not like I can learn to dance or get a new haircut or something." True, but trying something that doesn't make your head look like a particularly ornate loaf of bread might not hurt, regardless. Joey says, "Dawson, she dumped you. Not your belief system." Ouch, and ha! Dawson says, "She rejected romance, honesty and respect. Every time I see Billy outside of her house, I'm reminded of that." Joey exclaims, "Everything reminds you of her!" and wonders how that can be so, since Dawson has only known Jen for three months. Dawson doesn't know: "It just does." He flops down on the bed. Exasperated, Joey suggests that they just watch the movie, "'cause this conversation's becoming far too disturbing." Joey sits on the chair beside the bed and hits play on the remote; the image that comes on-screen is of Jen in her sundress, walking slowly toward the camera. Dawson groans and puts a pillow over his face. Joey leans over and puts her full weight on said pillow. Well, I wish she did; instead, she, along with North America, rolls her eyes and turns off the TV.

If only we knew whether or not Paula Cole wanted to wait for her life to be over.