Previously on Dawson's Creek, Jen gets crowned Homecoming Queen, Joey warns Andie about Rob, Joey tees Rob high and hits him long, Rob fires Joey, and Henry babbles impotently in Jen's general direction.
Capeside High interior. Walking down the stairs, Jen "Breaker One-Nine" Lindley observes acidly to Dawson "Forehead Of Our Discontent" Leery that "genetic inevitability" has caused her to begin "turning into her mother." As an example, she cites the "homecoming-queen debacle," and Dawson asks if Jen's mother "was an HQ," and Jen waves her hand and says, "Miss Cape Cod, same difference," adding that her mother "graduated from the swimsuit competition to a life of cucumber sandwiches, high teas, and Junior League." She continues grousing about the fact that, "despite all [her] best efforts," she too "has reached the very pinnacle of Capeside popular culture." "Very pinnacle"? Dear Jen: Shut up. Signed, Sars, Whose Mother Served As A Junior-League President And Is Still Ten Times The Bad-Ass Feminist You Will Ever Be. Co-signed, The Rest Of The English-Speaking World. Jen does not hear my plea, muttering, "Dawson, I have sold my soul." Dawson more or less tells her to stop obsessing, and Jen keeps griping about getting her mother's character flaws passed down to her, and Dawson says he doesn't think people voted for her because she's like her mom, but rather because she isn't. Jen says that people voted for her "because I'm blonde and I fill out my sweater." Heh. Dawson acknowledges, "That too," but says that the "kids" voted for "an outsider" blah blah blah "a messiah to lead them from the mainstream" fishcakes. Yeah, because high-school kids have no interest in conformity. Mr. "Venus De" Milo interrupts them to introduce a gaggle of women to Jen as "half a century of former homecoming queens"; he does not explain why, if fifty years' worth of HQs are represented, we only see a dozen women standing there, but he does present Jen with a flourish. Jen looks horrified as Miss Constance "What The" Freckling steps forward to introduce herself. After making an exceedingly gauche point of mentioning her Mayflower ancestors and her candy-heiress fortune, the aging Miss Freckling refers to herself as "the oldest living HQ" and teaches Jen the secret HQ handshake, which I guess means that Capeside HQs get free admission to the Rosicrucian temple of their choice. Dawson tries not to laugh. Miss Freckling tells Jen she's "heard all about you." Jen looks at Dawson for help. Dawson smirks. The other HQs moo contentedly and crop the grass.