Yo -- that's brisk, baby! Aaaaaaaarrrrccckk!
Ryan Home. Kitchen. Grams makes pancakes -- mmm, pancakes -- as Jen pads sleepily into the kitchen. Grams pounces on her, asking if she talked to Jack the night before, and if he told her she's "making the biggest mistake of [her] life." Jen would like to start with "good morning" and perhaps some "java," and Grams snaps that they don't call coffee "java" at the Ryan Home (heh), and asks again what Jack said. Jen cranks up the coffee grinder so she won't have to answer (heh redux). Grams rolls her eyes halfway to Maine and says that if Jen wants to "play games," fine, that's just fine: "I'm really not that interested anyway." Got her -- Jen smirks, "How would you like to move to Boston?" Grams busts out a meta-statement about the show, albeit in a put-upon tone of voice: "Now what kind of nonsense are you talking?" Jen hoists herself up on the counter and says there's "nothing nonsensical here at all" -- she's serious. Grams mock-frowns that she knows what Jen's trying to do, and that's why she loves Jen: "You have a big beautiful heart. But I will not allow you to do this -- for me." She stomps back to the table. Jen points out that maybe she's not doing it for Grams. Grams turns back around, looking worried, as Jen admits that going away to college scares her, but if she has Grams nearby, it'll scare her less, so "before [Grams goes] writing songs about [Jen's] big beautiful heart [heh for the hat trick!]," she should know that Jen's doing it for herself, not for Grams: "I’m doing this 'cause my big selfish heart wants you to be there, so -- will you please go with me?" On my count, okay? One, two, three: Awwwwww! Grams sputters for a moment before calling it an "overwhelming concept" and saying she wouldn't know where to start. Jen thinks "calling movers" would get the ball rolling, but Grams snorts that "it's not that simple," and Jen sasses back that that's true, she'll have a tough time finding a place "as nice as La Brea Park." Grams greets this with a smaller eye-roll than the first one, and asks what she'd do in Boston, anyway: "How would I spend my time?" Jen thinks that maybe a "change of scenery" would inspire Grams to "try new things, meet new people." Grams scoffs that she's "too old for such things" -- this, from a woman who jacked an illegal U-turn at fifty miles an hour last season -- and Jen gets my back, giggling that Grams has "seen more action in the romance department than I have this year." I hear that. Sigh. Jen walks over to Grams and fiddles with Grams's hair, telling her to "just quit it with these pitiful excuses and -- say yes." Grams stares off into space. Jen rests her chin on Grams's shoulder all "pleeeeeeease?" Grams says with fake sternness that she doesn't want to "cramp [Jen's] style." "I'm sure you will," Jen smiles. Grams mock-glares at her. Jen bobs up and down eagerly. They mock-pout at each other. Grams shakes her head, then rests it on Jen's, smiling in spite of herself. Awwww.
Marina. Joey finds Pacey parking his ass on a boat and -- what else? -- indulging in some of that patented Dawson's Creek Brooding In The Great Outdoors. Joey says she knew she'd find him there. Pacey looks a little guilty, and says he meant to sneak back in before she got up. "How long have you been out here?" A couple of hours, maybe -- he watched the sun come up, which he probably hadn't done since they spent the summer on the "True Love." Sadly, he asks, "Seems like a million years ago, doesn't it?" And again I say -- try recapping it. Joey twists her mouth, then takes a seat beside him and apologizes again for "dragging" him to the party and "bringing back all of those bad feelings." Pacey's face hardens, but he tells her that it's not her fault: "None of this is your fault. You're…not the reason that we broke up." Well, not for the reasons he claims, anyway. I wouldn't let Joey off the hook that easily, but the writers have decided to make it About Pacey's Issues, so I might as well just go with the flow. OF ALCOHOL. (Buuuurrripp!) Joey shoots him a "well, that helps…not" look: "I thought that you said…" "I know what I said. And it makes me sick to my stomach every time I think about it." Get in line, bud. Blah blah blah his insecurities blah blah blah making her feel guilty about her accomplishments blah blah blah "I'm so proud of you." Um, "cakes." "I know you are," Joey whispers. Pacey heaps more coals on his own head, saying that he turned into the stereotypical guy who tweaks when his girlfriend gets a better job than he does. He hates that guy. Joey says he's not that guy. Well, he feels like that guy. He wishes he could let it roll off his back, but he can't. He got jealous at the party -- not of Joey, but of the guys who would get to "experience" her next year (ew…?), they'll get to "be with" her and he won't, yeah yeah, we've heard it before. Either get back together or break up for real, but for Pete's sake get on with it. Joey frowns, then says that she thought Mr. K's offer "would be the answer to all [their] problems -- a sign, you know?" Pacey laughs mirthlessly that he does know, and he thinks that "it was a sign, just not the one that [they] were hoping for." Joey frowns some more. Pacey adds, "But at least we got a better ending this time. I am grateful for that." "Better" -- huh? Better how? You've BROKEN UP, for essentially NO REASON! What's "better" here -- that Joey knows she's gotten into Worthington? She's only going because Dawson BOUGHT her! The. Hell? Joey reaches for Pacey's hand and whispers, "Me too." Um, you too WHAT? A testicle Joe-Cockers about ships coming in and checking the horizon, and I'd like to apologize to The Flash for screaming at him earlier in the recap, because now I totally don't get it. For real. I mean…huh?