Dawson's Creek
Dawson's Creek

Episode Report Card
1213 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Sex And Violence

Boston. Joey stares at Pacey as he writes something. Hey, Pacey is a lefty! Like me! We're very good-looking, we lefties. I don't know if you're aware of that. Joey demands to know how he knows "that woman." Pacey rolls his eyes and asks her if it would have killed her to act professionally. Joey opens her mouth at this, like she's never been so appalled in her life, and says that the people at Pacey's office are "cavemen." Cavemen who are PAYING YOUR SALARY. And you're only hurting Pacey, by the way. Pacey points out that he certainly thought she would be able to pour coffee. Especially since she's, you know, a waitress and all. "That's all an assistant is to you, isn't it? Just some chick who pours coffee," Joey sasses. Pacey snaps that he didn't realize she wanted to be "a career assistant," and then Joey brats that Bobby Briggs fired Pacey's other secretary because she wasn't cute enough. "Have you even noticed the assistants here?" she asks. Pacey sighs that there's no good way to answer that. "They look like the Maxim Girls of the Office," Joey brats. And you're fighting that by spilling coffee all over a reporter? That's extremely stupid. Yes, Pacey's former assistant should sue the company. When I worked at the Soul-Sucking Insurance Company, there was a man who had worked there for years who was known to be kind of jackass. During his assistant's annual review, he said that she should lose weight. He put actually put that in her written report. And she sued the company. She got enough money that she's not going to have to work for long time. I thought she was totally in the right, but I didn't go and stop spelling my brochures correctly. I went out and got a new job, instead. And Joey is full of shit if she says she's pouring coffee on Sadia because the company is sexist -- not merely because Sadia doesn't even work there, but because her behavior is clearly coming from her own crazy jealousy.

Anyway, Pacey tells her that he comes to work to do his job, not pick up chicks. And she tells him that she "just [wants] some respect and human kindness." Blah blah blah. Finally, he tells her that she is "wrecking [his] head," and asks her to "maybe just accept the extra income with a smile and maybe a little grace?" And I don't know if I've mentioned this, but Katie Holmes is chewing the scenery in this scene like I've never seen before. I hate Joey, but Katie Holmes's acting is rarely the problem. But in this scene, seriously, she's screwing up her face like Lucy Ricardo on Vitameatavegimen. She then makes some noise about how she hopes this isn't how Pacey plans on treating future assistants. DUDE! HE WASN'T MISTREATING YOU! HE ASKED YOU TO MAKE SOME FUCKING COFFEE. Anyway, there's some more idiotic and infuriating back-and-forthing; Joey says the rest of the men in the office call him "Witless," and then finally admits that she's had some kind of "psychotic lapse," and then there's some really silly business about Joey taking a letter, and then the next thing you know, they're making out on the sofa. I really hate this show. I really, really hate it. I especially hate Joey. I hate Pacey now, too, because by rights he ought to be infuriated with Joey's juvenile behavior. I especially hate the fact that the two of them have spoiled the formerly delightful making out for me. Anyway, so Bobby comes in to tell Pacey that he's leaving for the day. He smirks when he sees them kissing. "At least I waited a week with mine," he says, and goes. Pacey grins down at Joey. "Pigs, we're all pigs," he says, and she smiles up at him. Oh, Moses, smell the roses! This is absurd! This is what gets them to make out? An idiotic, sexist morality play about not firing ugly people? And a revelation that Joey is a snobby brat with a shitty work ethic? I totally want to go on a killing spree right now.

Dawson's Creek

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