As an opening caveat: I hated this episode. I really, really hated it. If you're offended by yelling, screaming, vigorous swearing, or threats of serious and completely inappropriate violence, then you best steer clear. I haven't gotten this close to a pulmonary embolism while watching his show since Joey killed that guy with her song.
Previously on Dawson's Creek, Dawson, against all odds and despite the fact that he was just the director's assistant rather than the Assistant Director, was selected to direct the reshoots of The Worst Movie Ever Made, Seriously. CJ and Jen…whatever. Like anyone remembers anything that happened to Jen other than her extraordinarily terrible Little Dutch Boy haircut. Joey and Pacey flirted around the idea of getting back together, but wouldn't make out for reasons that are completely unclear and probably really stupid. Pacey met a woman at this stupid work party and I thought she was a Federal Agent investigating the shit that's clearly going on at Bobby Briggs's stupid stockbroking house, but now they're saying she's just a journalist, but no one cares about that stupid plot line anyway, so whatev.
Worthington School For Whatever. Pacey and Joey come in from dinner at a restaurant so nice that, according to Joey, they even had individual hand towels in the bathroom! Joey is apparently only used to establishments that force you to dry your hands on the back of your jeans. She chortles that Pacey "knows how to treat a lady." Pacey shrugs that he's got to spend his money on something, and then yammers that she's not, like, a possession or anything and blah blah cutesy blah, and finally he blurts out that he got a promotion at work and he got an office and a secretary and everything. Joey asks what he was promoted to, and Pacey tells her that he doesn't have a title. Like, that's not at all suspicious. This all rolls around to Joey admitting that she's strapped for cash because Liberty Hell's Kitchen cut her hours, since "everyone's on spring break and drinking elsewhere." Speaking of, Josephine, why aren't you off drinking elsewhere? Or, if you're not making any money at LHK, why don't you go home and see your poor overworked sister? Anyway, Pacey asks her if she's free for dinner the next Saturday, and we're back into The Let's Gaze Into Each Other's Eyes And Act All Moony And Everything, But Not Kiss Or Anything, Like We're Amish Or Some Shit routine. "Anything for a free meal," Joey breathes. Pacey coos that he might "throw in a free dessert." And then he leans in to kiss her, and just like she did last week, she dodges his lips. I seriously have no idea why she's not kissing him. Kissing isn't like hostage negotiations. No lives are on the line. Likewise, kissing Pacey doesn't mean you're agreeing to marry him. It's just a kiss. What is wrong with the two of them? Anyway, she dodges him, and he says that's "his cue" and time to cut his losses. "Pacey, I had a lovely time," Joey offers. Pacey smiles and agrees that he did, too, and he kisses her hand and leaves. Joey makes a thoughtful face. I hate her. Not for any particular reason at this moment, but just generally. Possibly because I know that she acts inexcusably immature and horribly, unattractively bratty later in the episode.
After the credits, we cut to Grams's, where Jen and her incredibly hideous hair wake Blandy with a cup of coffee. Blandy sits up sleepily and wonders where Grams is. "She's downstairs, stirring porridge," Jen says. "Shall we then?" Blandy asks, gently taking hold of the waistband of her PJs and pulling her towards him. "Shall we what?" Jen asks. He tugs the pajamas and smiles. "Oh, shall we that," Jen translates, sounding as though he's just asked her to drown Grams in the Charles River. She shakes her head, and Blandy blinks sleepily. Jen explains that she isn't in the mood. "Who needs mood?" Blandy -- who really isn't as horribly bland now that he has his shirt off -- asks, leaning into kiss her. Like Joey in the scene before her, Jen turns her face away. "What?" Blandy asks. "Nothing a little toothpaste won't fix," Jen snips. "Fine, don't kiss me. See if I care," Blandy says mildly, lying back down. Jen informs him that he's not "sexy when he's pouting." Jen, you're not sexy with that haircut. Blandy takes an unopened box of condoms from the bed stand and points out that they haven't had sex in week. Jen rolls her eyes and snaps that she's "not a boy," and therefore doesn't have the kind of sex drive that he does. Which, for what it's worth, is kind of bullshit. The two of them might not have the same sex drive, but I don't think it has much to do with their genders. The whole Nice Girls Don't Want To Have Sex message in this episode really pisses me off. But I'll get to that. I don't want to work myself into a lather before the first commercial break.