Previously: Joey is torn between Creepy and McFly; Jen plays Dr. Laura; Dawson starts attending film school with Pander and maintains his bizarre likeability; Jack is still allegedly gay.
Okay, people. I'm kicking the habit this week. This whole Liking Dawson thing I've been going through the last couple of episodes? It's over. Cold turkey. I can't live like this anymore. So, we open with Jen, clasping her hands over Dawson's eyes and leading him into Grams's kitchen. "No peeking," she squeals. "I'm not peeking, I swear," Dawson chuckles, right before Jen walks him straight into a door. "Ouch," Dawson yelps. "It was a door," Jen explains. "Yep," Dawson chirps. Okay, so he's not acting like a dick and they're running him into walls? I'm never going to get this monkey off my back. Jen sits Dawson down at the kitchen table and uncovers his eyes to reveal nothing. Dawson points out that the whole "unveiling of gifts" doesn't really work if there isn't a gift to reveal. "You realize, to criticize the method by which the presents are presented means you never get a present again," Jen explains. "You're very pretty," Dawson immediately points out. "Okay," Jen forgives him. She hauls out a big red bag, and explains that she bought him something for "the first day of school." Dawson grins and wonders if she hit the sale at Old Navy. "Nothing smells more like the first day of school than cheap fleece," Jen snarks. Hey, I have plenty of nice things from Old Navy, young lady! Including a very cozy baby blue and yellow fleece long-sleeved tee, which is perfect for the many UCLA sporting events I attend. So, shut up, Jen. Actually, Jen's gift is a giant bag of school supplies: pencils, erasers, paper, the works. Then Jen presents "le piece de le resistance [sic]," which is not only incorrect French, but also makes it sound like she's giving him a dagger used by Jacques le FrenchLastName to kill a bunch of Nazis. It's actually an ET Trapper Keeper. Jen looks extremely proud. "Oh my God," Dawson says, not entirely happily. Jen twitters about how she was going to put Reese's Pieces in the pencil holder, blah blah, blah, and Dawson is like, my God, what have I created, and finally manages to shut her up long enough to thank her. Jen wonders if he's nervous about his first day of school. Dawson shakes his head. He's not taking a heavy course load, anyway, he says. Jen agrees it's best to ease oneself into "the rigorous college schedule of napping and drinking." Isn't that the truth? How I miss the afternoon nap of my college days. Drinking, I can do at work, but napping? Not so much. Anyway, Dawson loads up his backpack, and they make plans to meet for lunch after her radio show. Kiss, kiss, and the Head heads out. "Wait, baby!" Jen calls after him. "Baby, you forgot your Trapper Keeper!" Dawson's like, yes. Yes, I did. "Oh," he mutters. "Oversight on my part. Why would I leave the house without this?" he says, picking up his notebook and finally making his escape. "Have a good day at school, sweetie," Jen calls. Dawson waves and walks out the door. "He is so cuuuuuute!" Jen squeals to the wall. Jen? Dial it down. Also, I'm still liking Dawson. If this goes on much longer, I'm going to have to check into TWoP headquarters for reprogramming.