Dawson's Creek

Episode Report Card
Jessica: C | Grade It Now!

Previously, on Dawson's Creek: Jen tried to kiss Blandy and he shot her down; Audrey broke up with Pacey and kicked off her Downward Spiral Of Booze, Drugs, Inappropriate Sex, Fight-Picking, And High-Pitched, Unpleasant Wailing; Dawson made out with Natasha; and Jack and Tiny, Gay, Elfin David (or TGED) liked each other. Those previouslys were sponsored by Jack Daniel's. Jack Daniel's: For when you have to drink yourself into a mindless stupor to escape from the fact that the upcoming episode contains more blatant product placement than the sale aisle at Target.

Liberty Hell's Kitchen, the only gin joint in Boston. Not like I should talk; I went to college in Los Angeles -- which has a ton of bars -- and yet I went to the same place five nights a week. It was close, you know? And they knew me there. Also, they let you dance and served drinks that you got to set on fire. Anyway, Dawson's at a table with Jen, Jack, and TGED, catching up on the gossip. Jen fills him in on the details of Joey and Audrey's fight to the death. Well, the "to the death" part is just my fantasy, but you can't take that away from me. Jack interjects that the fight isn't nearly as bad as Jen is implying. TGED agrees, telling Dawson that it's more like the girls are just keeping their distance from each other. "Thank you," Dawson tells TGED with a "who are you, anyway?" look. "No problem," TGED shrugs with a grin. I really do like him. It may be because I have a tiny, gay, elfin friend of my own and his name is also David and he's just a peach, so I'm projecting. I don't really care. I'm just happy that I don't want to run him down with a truck. "You know, I'm sure if we could get them in the same room, they'd would work things out just fine," Jen chirps. It appears that she got a haircut, thank God. Her hair looks three hundred percent better. "Joey and Audrey?" Dawson asks. "Audrey and Pacey, duh," Jen twitters. Dawson looks at her like she's on speed as Emma swings by with a platter of burgers. She asks Dawson if he wants anything, but he shakes his head, telling her that he can't stay that long. "She's not working tonight, if that's what you're asking," Jack tells him, and for a moment I have no idea what he's talking about. Finally, it dawns on me that he means Joey isn't working, so Dawson can feel free to hang around without fear of an awkward confrontation. Then I remember that I don't care about that plotline. Jen chimes in, asking Dawson to please stay and chat with them some more, but the Head swears that he really does have to get back to the set -- Todd thinks he's off running an errand. Which, technically, he says, he is. Dawson takes an envelope from his pocket and hands it to Jen. "Oh, you feel so bad that you don't call that you've got to give us presents," Jen chortles. Dawson smiles and tells her to open it. "I'd use them myself if I could," he says, as Jen pulls out ten tickets to a No Doubt concert. She squeals as Dawson explains that Todd got them for free, since he knows the band or something. (In this case, "or something" means "because the network demanded that No Doubt appear on the show to push their record.") "Go, have fun, let me know what happens when you get Pacey and Audrey in the same room at the same time," Dawson tells the thrilled threesome. "Thanks!" Jen chirps as he leaves.

Dawson's leaving just as Joey's coming. Wow, a really dirty joke just popped into my mind. One that takes me to a sort of unpleasant place, mentally. My officemate and I are building a shrine to Michael Vartan on our wall, and I think I have to go stare at it until I lose that mental image. Okay. Deep breaths. Aaaand I'm back. "Hey," Joey says, surprised to see him. "Sorry, I was just..." he begins, but Joey interrupts to tell him not to apologize. "They're back there, Jack and Jen," Dawson says, nodding toward their friends. The Twinkly Music Of I Can't Believe They're Still Pushing This Soulmate Crap tinkles in the background as Dawson and Joey stare at each other. "How've you been?" Joey asks. Dawson's been just great, he says. She smiles. He mentions that he heard about Joey and Audrey's falling out. Joey shrugs. "Those things happen, I guess. People fight," she tells him. "Oh my God, we get it," Joey's It -- which has abandoned her entirely in favor of living in the box under my bed with Evil Dr. Will from Big Brother II -- mutters. Dawson and Joey exchange A Look. Dawson finally breaks the silence and says he doesn't want to keep her. "Dawson, they're your friends, too," Joey reminds him. Dawson tells her that he knows that, but his sassy, saucy, insouciant boss is waiting for him back at home. Er, I mean, "on set." "Nice seeing you," Joey tells him. "You, too," Dawson responds. "Oh, for the love of Pete! Get over it!" my Mulder action figure yells. This moment with the Mulder action figure was sponsored by 1013 Productions. 1013 Productions: For when your head just won't explode enough.

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Dawson's Creek




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