Dawson's Creek
Tamara's Return

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Tamara's Return

Shout out to Sars, Shanda, Andrew, Quinn, owen, amygirl, Jenga, Amaysmnt, and Lioness.

Okay, so I settle down to write the recap hardly knowing from where I will draw the reserves of strength to get through it, since the latest episode of the show was so freaking boring. But the recap must be written, and so it shall be.

After the scenes from this week's episode, the preview for Charmed, the disclaimer, and the previouslys from last week, the episode finally begins, and evidently it's a "Special Episode of Dawson's Creek," like, not. Anyway, so the episode starts with some bland chanteuse on the soundtrack and on a blanket, on some kind of stone surface, is a quartet of intertwined legs which we then see belong to Dawson "Now with Riboflavin!" Leery and Joey "Call my Agent" Potter and they are in a very awkward and unconvincing clinch supplemented by the traditional over-loud mouth mics and after a moment Joey sits up because "it's just not working" (word) and complains of the bugs and the cold and I should say so, what with her pretty small t-shirt and pretty short denim shorts and bare feet whereas Dawson is clad in a long-sleeved v-neck something and jeans and socks and shoes and, by the way, a hairstyle admirably copied from Tasha Yar on the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation. And a flustered Dawson and his tiny boner remind her that they can neither go to his house nor to hers, and she agrees that this is so but adds that the scene is "too Swiss Family Robinson" and enumerates her requirements for fooling around, as "a twentieth-century girl" as "some music, some mood lighting, and climate control" which of course causes Dawson to appeal to her "sense of romance" by going into a late-night-TV-ad-for-a-soft-rock-CD-compilation-with-a-name-like-Mellow-Gold evocation of "gorgeous moonlight shimmering on the water" (which was not in the least bit gay, no siree) and "stars overhead, crickets chirping...and if you get cold, you got me to keep you warm" and while I tried to keep my President's Choice Deluxe White Cheddar Macaroni and Cheese from making its encore all over the coffee table, Joey laughs at Dawson's maudlin attempts at smoove talk and tells him point blank, "Dawson, you are so cheesy!" And he asks, "You don't like it?" to which she responds that she "find[s] it unbearably sexy" and unbearable is le mot juste as she rolls on top of him and they continue to go at it until the credits roll not a single second too soon.

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Dawson's Creek




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