Dawson's Creek
Tamara's Return

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Tamara's Return

And hey -- Dawson's Creek, just like Dawson's Wrap, is brought to us by I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, which is now two summers ago, but whatever. Then there's an impossibly stupid Buddy Lee Dungaree ad, and in my opinion the imminent turn of the millennium is no reason for us all to start reviving the argot of grizzled turn-of-the-century prospectors, dagnabbit (tm Bart Simpson), because jeans are jeans and not dungarees.

Then the show is back as the sun rises over the harbour and Dawson and the Flash are talking in voice-over (barely drowning out the REM manques on the soundtrack) and Dawson is telling the Flash that he (the Big D) was beginning to think that the Flash's restaurant idea was just a "pipe dream" which I guess is what the kids are calling a "plot contrivance" these days and the Flash answers that he just needs to find "the perfect location" and that the woman he is about to meet says he won't find a better deal than her warehouse which I am not even going to comment on, and they stand on the corner for exactly a second waiting for her until Dawson glances up, dumbstruck, as a woman greets "Dawson." And he answers "Miss Jacobs!" for it is she, in a yellow flowered sundress that admirably draws the eye to her linebacker's shoulders, and she points out that they're not in school and that Dawson can call her taMAHra and then the Flash introduces himself and they shake hands and Dawson asks if she's moving back into town and taMAHra answers that she's only in town for a few days to "sell this property" since as we all know, that's as long as it takes to sell a piece of property that someone actually wants, not to mention something as potentially undesirable as a warehouse, speaking of, do we even know why she would have a warehouse? Like, what, she needed the space for her adolescent trophy lads, or maybe for her cases of hairspray? So anyway, then a thoroughly flummoxed Dawson hightails it out of there but not before saying goodbye and comically slipping up and almost calling her Miss Jacobs again. Ha ha. Not (tm Sars).

Then we're at school and Dawson is about to tell Pacey "Monkey Boy" Witter that he's just seen a particularly wide-shouldered and comely ghost but Pacey cuts him short (or shorter, I guess I should say) by pre-emptively guessing that Dawson and Joey are having problems again, and gives as his diagnosis that "Joey is being sarcastic and over-sensitive, and you, my friend, are being self-absorbed and suffocating" which is, as a matter of fact, a pretty accurate assessment of what has come before, so, Go Pacey, but Dawson says that what he has to tell Pacey about has to do with Pacey himself, and just as Pacey is guessing that he owes Dawson money again, Andie "Rite Aid, Not Walgreens" McPhee comes to her locker, conveniently located beside Pacey's, to get a book, and Dawson gives her the hairy eyeball (which she ignores) and tells Pacey that they should talk privately but then the bell rings and Pacey tells Dawson to talk to him after school but Dawson can't because he has "this art thing" with Joey but it's too late to make other arrangements as a blissfully ignorant Pacey hurries to class and Dawson stares painedly after him, and checks his watch, and I have to say that I really know how he feels.

Meanwhile, in another part of the hall, Joey runs into "Probably Gay" Jack and tells him that the sitter called and cancelled on Bessie so the restaurant won't open, which means that Jack has the afternoon off, and instead of being happy Jack wonders why he can't open and Joey says that since neither she nor Bessie can go, there won't be enough people to cover the tables, and Jack says that he can do it, at which Joey laughs in his face and calls him "Inspector Clouseau" and reminds him of the myriad accidents which have befallen The Icehouse since he joined the team, and Jack somewhat pissily inquires as to why, if he's such a moron, Bessie and Joey haven't "terminated" him yet, like, who says "terminated"? And Joey says they don't want to terminate him, and then changes her mind and tells Jack he can open, and this will "be like a test run," and then lowers her voice and tells him not to set the kitchen on fire, and instead of telling Joey where to go, Jack thanks her "for that unqualified vote of confidence."

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Dawson's Creek

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