Dawson's Creek
Tamara's Return

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: D | Grade It Now!
Tamara's Return

Then we cut to Jen "Audra" Lindley in the cafeteria picking at her food in a mauve-ish too-tight t-shirt with orange and mauve-lace trim, like, gak, and then Abby "Karen from Will and Grace much?" Morgan steals up behind her waving a flipping great wodge of cash in her face and Jen pushes her away and Abby tells her that she needs to go spend this money, which apparently is her allowance, on clothes post-haste and that she needs Jen to come with her. Note to Abby: no more pigtails, ever. Anyway, Jen tells her she doesn't feel like shopping, and Abby says, " 'Don't feel like shopping'? 'Don't feel like shopping'? And you call yourself a woman," and I would point out that no one around here has seen fit to call her a woman; maybe she no longer self-identifies that way. Note to Abby: black eyeliner requires a light touch. And Jen answers that she isn't feeling "festive" and that she plans to spend her weekend counting her ceiling tiles, and haven't we already seen Mopey Jen? And haven't we already declared that Mopey Jen is really boring and played? And Abby asks rhetorically whether this has anything to do with Jen's "ludicrous Dawson Leery fixation"? And Jen has now crossed the line between speech and lip-biting-as-verbal-expression as she bites her lip, which Abby interprets as a "yes" because she screeches that Jen is an "addict" or an "act" or an "ass" (I'm not sure which) and asks, again rhetorically, "what is so great about Dawson Leery?" since in her view he's "just a guy with a motormouth and a limp billy club." Note to Abby: lay off the single entendres. So she tells Jen essentially to get over it and Jen says that she was "rejected" and that "it hurts" and then she makes reference to the "Dawson-Joey-Pacey troika" and the fact that she hates being on the outskirts of it since she "used to fit in." Abby advises her to "count [her] blessings" since "those people are boring" (word). Jen says she'll need a few days to "nurse [her] narcissistic wounds," and Abby replies, "You've had a few days," and, much as I hate to say it, Go Abby, but the main reason Abby wants her to get over it because she wants Jen to come shopping with her because "shopping is like deep-sea diving" and something about Jen's duty to prevent Abby from "drown[ing] in dresses and hair gel" and, sincerely now, if there is anyone in Capeside less qualified than Jen to prevent a drowning in hair gel, I do not want to know.

Pacey. Andie. They both dig Dumbo. Pacey says "pantheon of all-time favourites." Pantheon. "Let's go walk around downtown." "Might as well...You're not going to throw me in front of a bus, are you?" No, but I may throw myself.

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Dawson's Creek




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