Dawson's Creek
Teaching Mrs. Tingle

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Annoying Mr. Shack
They go upstairs. Leigh Ann removes Tingle's gag. Leigh Ann explains that they need to "get their stories straight," and that everything has been taken care of for the day. She tells Tingle she should "rest up, let [her] head heal, and think about what [she's] done." Tingle regards Leigh Ann as though she's trying to figure out if there's a muscle in her head that she can flex to shoot laser beams out of her eyes, striking Leigh Ann instantly dead. Leigh Ann continues to blather away with the typical teen non-apology of "we've learned from our mistakes. So that should be enough for you. You've done your job," Of course, Mrs. Tingle's still tied to her bed, so obviously they've learned absolutely nothing. Leigh Ann wants to know if they can "put this all behind [them] and move on with [their] lives." Tingle, utterly unimpressed, tells Leigh Ann that her fear is showing. There's some more back-and-forth. Mrs. Tingle is intimidating; Leigh Ann tries to look confident and fails. (I don't know if this is actual subtlety on Ms. Holmes's part, but I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.) The three kids leave Tingle in her bed and go downstairs. Leigh Ann wants Jo Lynn to stay and watch Mrs. Tingle while she (Leigh Ann) goes to school. Does Jo Lynn not have a family? Doesn't anybody care where she is? Anyway, Jo Lynn asks Luke if he wants to stay, but he figures he should go to school, too, to reduce suspicion or whatever. Well, since Luke's the big slacker, why doesn't he stay behind and Leigh Ann and Jo Lynn go to school? Oh, right, this way Luke can offer Leigh Ann a ride to school and keep that lust triangle subplot alive. This isn't at all arbitrary and phony. Cut to school. Molly Ringwald is filling in for Mrs. Tingle. Can office assistants do that? Who knows? Actually, I found out recently that you can be a substitute teacher in Florida with absolutely no education credentials. It explained a lot about some of the substitutes I had when I was growing up down there. Back at the scary dream house, Jo Lynn is bitching because Tingle doesn't own a television. Oh, that is evil. Let's hope she doesn't write smug columns about it. Jo Lynn complains that she can't watch daytime talk shows: "Where else can you see a man have a sex change and become a lesbian?" Well, actually, Gillian Blanderson, sexual orientation and gender identity are two separate things and, in fact, many male-to-female transsexuals are lesbians. So there. Jo Lynn plays with the dog. Why is the camera still running? Out of boredom, Jo Lynn re-enacts Linda Blair's possession scenes from The Exorcist. Tingle looks at her with an expression that says, "I cooked my murdered lover and forced my abusive husband to eat him at gunpoint. You are nothing, you foolish little bint." This scene had absolutely no point. At all.

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Dawson's Creek

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