MONDO EXTRAS

Texas Rangers

by Ragdoll December 9, 2002 10:00 PM
Dawson's Creek

From a secluded area behind the bandits' campsite, McNelly and his crew scout out the situation. Randy Travis thinks that it might be better if they track the bandits to better terrain. Robert Patrick thinks it might be better if they wait. Dylan asks what Sandoval thinks. He says, "Thirty of them. Thirty of us. If we wait, they might have three hundred."

Cue Rangers ramping up for their second objective. Ammunition is handed out. Kelso fingers a bullet. Dawson looks intent. Dylan screams out the instructions: "We'll ride at full gallop. They'll see us on the prairie and take defensive positions." He holds his, ahem, gun out straight in front of him and continues, "Shoot at the target forward of you and you keep shooting until you can taste that outlaw's blood!" He whips his gun back into its holster. "No prisoners, Rangers!"

They ride. They ride hard. Guns are drawn. The bandits hear the thunderous hooves, and yes, they take defensive positions. Guns are cocked. Dylan screams, "Fire!" Rangers fire. There are bandits in trees. A bloody battle ensues. Many bandits go down. Many Rangers go down. Then King Fisher tells Vincent Spano to "get the others out of hiding." Damn. It's an ambush. The Rangers are outnumbered. The bandits start picking them off one by one. And then two by two. Randy Travis mutters, "Jesus Christ." Hats and horses fly. More galloping. More whinnying. More death. Randy rides over to Dylan and says, "We don't have the men, Captain! They set us up! We're trapped." Kelso screams. Vincent Spano shoots his horse. Kelso screams again. He crawls under a log. And then he screams again -- what a blithering idiot. Berry cries. Sandoval speaks to him in Spanish, calling him towards him, but Berry just turns around and shoots him, right in the stomach. Now that sucks. He just shot one of the only "good" Rangers McNelly had under his control. Across the way, Dawson yells to an outlaw, "Don't move! Don't move!" Then Dawson shoots him in cold blood. Hell, I never thought he had that in him. As Barry tends to Sandoval, King Fisher grins and shoots him too. Dylan tries to get as many bandits as he can. More shooting. A bandit bashes Robert Patrick full-on in the head. He's bloodied, and falls off his horse. Usher does a somersault. Then he shoots some bandits. And then, of course, he rescues Robert Patrick. A Ranger screams, "Help me! I surrender! Help me!" It's no use. King Fisher's out for blood; he shoots that kid too. Dylan screams, "Retreat, Rangers! Retreat!" Those left alive climb onto their horses and try to get the hell out of the carnage. The bandits continue to shoot at them. Dawson tries to get one more bad guy, but Kelso yells, "Come on, Lincoln, we're retreatin'! Come on!" Dawson jumps on the back of Kelso's horse, and they ride off. As the Rangers retreat, Vincent Spano yells, "Next time you train your Rangers, McNelly, you train them how to run!" Then he grins. Sadistic bastard! ["Well, don't forget, this is a guy who eats his friends." -- Sars] King Fisher smirks too. He says, "Go with God, McNelly. If the son of a bitch will have you." Whatever the hell that means.

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