Episode Report CardRagdoll: D+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
It's dusk. The ranch is quiet. Dawson visits the Captain for his daily record. McNelly recounts the events of the past few days. The blood. The bravery. The carnage. Then he coughs. What's he sick with, anyway? Then he blames himself for the failure of the battle. Ah, it's so good to be a man of conscience in the wild freaking west. The next day, Rachael Leigh -- a.k.a. "Caroline" -- takes the laundry off the line. Now, that's woman's work. Dawson attempts to woo the poor girl. He stands in his undershirt. It has no sleeves. Oh, look at the strong Dawson muscles. He's Herculean. Yawn. Blah tales of bravery, blah killing men, blah better than George blah. She makes some crack about the Rangers not having warrants. Then she gets all high and mighty about their Ranger work. Damn feisty woman. Blah kill a man, blah for cattle, blah his life, blah worth as much as the beef, blah state of men, blah thinking that way, blah holy blah thou blah. Dawson: "We ride to protect the state of Texas." She retorts, "You ride to balance the blood on the scales." Oh, then she says that when she looks into Kelso's eyes, she can see that he's not a killer. It's a good thing he did all that screaming, then. He's such a tenderhearted Ranger. Yawn. Dawson can't get past the fact that Caroline looked into George's eyes. Kelso wanders up. He's impressed that Dawson was talking to the girl. Dawson recounts that he "got nowhere" and that the girl likes "gunslingers." Oh, he's wily, trying to keep the girl from Kelso. They're both so dumb. Just let evolution take its course. They'll run at each other a couple of times in a field and eventually wear each other out, we hope. The next morning, gunshots wake up Captain McNelly. He grabs his gun and runs outside to see his Rangers, his men, his motley crew, shooting innocent tubers again. He asks Frank Bone what's going on, and he responds, "Training exercises." Who organized it? Well, Dawson did, of course! He's the leader of the pack. Dylan smiles. Then Dawson ropes something with his lasso. Kelso shoots a squash and says, "Peppercorn." Dylan recruits new Rangers. There are more training exercises for the benefit of the newbies. This time, Dawson oversees the exercises with the wisdom of man who has been on the job. Ranger Camp. Robert Patrick comes upon Conchita washing her legs in a tent. He's taken aback. He watches, transfixed, and then calls out, "Senorita?" She answers, and he enters. He hands her some clothes from Mrs. Dukes. Blah she's safe, blah no more bandits, blah Rangers, blah blowhard blah. They bond over the frocks. Armstrong asks her who the men were that hurt her. He vows to get them. She says that she overheard them say they were going to the Logan Ranch. She looks away from Robert Patrick. And then he kisses her hand. Ah, a confidante. Ah, a villain in disguise. He's so gullible, that Robert Patrick, from getting in trouble over gambling to spending too much time with Moronica -- he sure gets in over his head more often than not.