Episode Report CardRagdoll: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Bandit time. They come upon another stagecoach, this one with a live tiger! Vincent Spano comes upon a Mexican man and his wife and asks them if they speak English. Alfred Molina looks at the tiger. He wants to buy it. It's not for sale. Vincent wants to buy the woman. She's not for sale, either. King Fisher screams, "What does she do!" The woman puts her head down. The Mexican Circus man replies that his wife is an acrobat and a juggler. So, King Fisher says that if the woman can juggle three balls in the air without dropping them, the couple can keep their tiger. The woman jumps down. She juggles. Vincent Spano ogles. Then he shoots her balls. Perdita screams. Vincent screams, "Catch it!" Only the woman can't and the ball falls to the ground. She runs. He chases her and draws her onto his horse. King Fisher laughs at their folly. One of his henchmen shoots the poor Mexican circus man. Brownsville. Dylan and his sidekicks are set up behind a table, taking admissions to the Texas Rangers. Leander says, "Name!" Dawson responds, "Lincoln Rogers Dunnison." Leander: "Where you from?" Philadelphia. Lincoln explains how he was traveling over the last three years with his father, who was a salesman and an inventor. Of course he was. Right. Dylan wants to know where Dawson's father is now. Lincoln says, "He's dead, sir. He was shot down by bandits." Apparently, the Texas Rangers ain't no place for "revenge" riding. Dawson understands. Dylan tells him to saddle up. It's his admittance test. He's got to draw when Frank Bone says draw and hit a tiny Ranger badge stuck in a tree. Dawson nods. He still hasn't washed his face. He walks over to the "shooting gallery" and waits. Frank Bone yells, "Sarsaparilla!" Dawson doesn't draw -- but he looks like he's going to. Frank mutters, "Most boys draw on sarsaparilla." Pause. "Draw, dammit." Dawson fumbles the gun. He picks it back up again. He should never do physical comedy. Lincoln turns to the men and says, "The gun doesn't seem to be loaded, sirs." Frank Bone responds, "Son. You might want to cock the hammer." Dawson shoots, and misses the target completely. As he fumbles more with the gun, Dylan asks Frank Bone how he did. Nine seconds. Apparently, they've seen worse. Dawson gets all snotty as he walks back over to the table, puts the gun down, and thanks the men for their time. As he walks away, Robert Patrick snarks, "Give my best to Philadelphia." Out comes the holier than thou, blah lawful land, blah good men blah speech. Dylan squints. Then he says, "Can you put that down in writing, Mr. Dunnison." Huh? "That high-minded talk. You write like that too?" Dawson responds, "In English, French, or Latin?" He learned French at Capeside High, and the rest in the few months he spent at university in California. Dylan laughs and says, "Well, shit, Mr. Dunnison. I only know Spanish, Cherokee, and Comanche." And with that, he's hired. Dawson's a Texas Ranger who gets his pay from Armstrong and his orders from Leander. And the forty dollars he'd make a month? Well, the Rangers will take that to pay for the horse, belt, and gun they'll sell the young man. So Dawson had better last a month, because he's in debt to Leander already.