Dawson's Creek
The Anti-Prom

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Sars: D | 2 USERS: A+
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The Anti-Prom

Thanks to Wing Chun, as always. I'll miss her around here; nobody gets a rolled eye across better.

Previously on Dawson's Creek: Henry slobbers on Jen; Pacey yells at Dawson, Dawson screams in Pacey's face, and Sars tells Dawson, "Say it, don't spray it"; Joey wants a friend who doesn't have an agenda, and Dawson volunteers (as if); Pacey asks Joey if she could feel the same way about him that she feels about Dawson; from a jar in Philadelphia's Mutter Museum, Joey's backbone wails, "Let me out, pleeeeeease!"

Exterior of Reconciliation Ranch. Joey "Minor Spiner" Potter kvetches about finals and having to memorize part of The Canterbury Tales as she and Dawson "The Maltese Forehead" Leery walk up to the porch. Dawson says patronizingly that, as he's told her a thousand times, her "pronunciation is flawless," like, buck up, little camper! Joey says that "[she's] gonna continue torturing [herself] until test time, I just have to," and if it's torture she's after, spending time with Dawson should get it done quite nicely. Dawson describes himself as "well aware of the Potter neuroses," just in case we missed the oft-made, skillet-enhanced point that they've known each other for many years, and Joey snaps flirtatiously that she prefers "to think of them as quirks" and then threatens to "get into the Leery neurosis," and Dawson says good-naturedly that "we don't have to do that," and I agree, particularly since on the one hand we have "neurosis," and on the other hand we have the monomania Dawson suffers from. Anyway, Dawson confesses that he's nervous about something too. "Why?" Joey asks suspiciously. Dawson, whose hair resembles nothing so much as a flattened cheese Danish swaddled in a cobweb, reminds her of "an event . . . looming on the horizon . . ." and when Joey still looks puzzled, he prompts her by recalling "a certain pact made by two high-school freshmen regarding said event," and Joey smiles awkwardly and nods, "Junior prom -- we both agreed, if we didn't have dates, we'd go together." Dawson, pleased: "So you do remember." Joey, obviously uncomfortable with the idea: "Are you asking me to prom?" I would throw out an "uh duh, Joey" here, but in her place, I'd assume that the romantic scuffling of the last two years would negate an obviously platonic arrangement made as freshmen. Dawson says he doesn't want to go with "some random person" and have it not mean anything; he wants to go with his oldest friend: "That'll be something I'll always remember." Joey's spine shows signs of life as she tries to get out of going with Dawson: "Or we could always agree that it's a meaningless event and not go at all." Dawson doesn't buy it, saying that yes, "proms are ridiculous and stupid," but that they made the pact because "it obviously mattered to us." Blah blah blah "rite of passage" blah blah blah "move forward" blah blah blah "fulfill a pact made by two old friends, and just have a good time" blah blah blah unhealthy fixationcakes. Joey takes Dawson's guilt trip, but says she doesn't want a corsage and she doesn't want Dawson to wear a ruffly blue tuxedo shirt. "Done," Dawson says, staring at her all dewy-eyed. Joey looks uneasy, but before Dawson can pin her to the doorjamb and start humping her leg, they hear rustling, and who should appear before the two kids in a first-season-esque liplock but Mitch "The Flash" Leery and Gale "Tan With A Plan" Leery. Noticing Joey and Dawson, they stop and make "busted!" faces. Joey stares at Dawson with her mouth hanging open; Dawson stares at his parents in confusion.

Credits. Cat getting its tail caught in a juicer.

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