Dawson's Creek
The Anti-Prom

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The Anti-Prom

Ryan Home. Jen snarks at Henry. Henry tries to reason with her. Jen won't hear it. Henry speaks for the entire audience by saying, "You know, I hate it when you do this -- you get extreme about the future of our relationship at the first sign of one of your insecurities," like, TELL IT, HENRY. Jen says it isn't about her insecurities, it's about Henry's "cowardice," like, WHATEVER, Jen. He's maybe fifteen years old, his parents probably made these arrangements months ago, it's only for the summer, and since you probably won't end up marrying the guy, STEP BACK. Good GRIEF. Anyway, she keeps haranguing him -- she planned their whole summer and he didn't even think about her, she made herself vulnerable to him, blah dee blah. Henry says again that his going to football camp has nothing to do with her, and Jen says, "Exactly," and pouts that, "if this were a real relationship," he would have chosen what to do with his summer based at least in part on her. Henry just stares at her, and I feel for the guy; she's way over the line here. "Good night, Henry," she says, and makes to go into the house. Henry finally says he can't take her volatility anymore, adding, "You walk in that house, and it's not just goodnight -- it's goodbye." Choking back tears, Jen says, "Goodbye," and slams the door in his face. Oh, please. Run away, Henry!

Jack catches Ethan at the train station: "What are you doing, are you leaving?" Ethan joins me in saying acidly, "Are you kidding me?" Jack stammers out an apology for treating Ethan like crap; Gayoda condescendingly says, "No, Jack, I'm sorry. You clearly weren't ready for this," and I go back to being on Jack's side. Shut up, Gayoda. Jack tells him, "That's just it. Because I don't know what 'this' is, so can we define 'this' before we decide who's ready?" Ethan relents and comes back down the stairs and drops his bag: "What are you saying?" Jack admits that he didn't feel uncomfortable taking a guy to the prom per se, but rather that he felt uncomfortable taking someone who doesn't feel the same way about Jack that Jack feels about him. "Jack," a stunned Ethan says, "I really like you!" "Then why all the hurdles?" Jack asks. "Why the long journey for us to be together, when all you had to do was just lean over and --" Well, because it's network TV, Jackers. "-- kiss you?" Ethan finishes. "Yeah, something like that," Jack says. Apparently, the writers also get a bonus for that sentence construction, because we've seen it a good four or five times in this episode alone. Ethan says he doesn't want to kiss "someone who isn't ready," and to prove his readiness, Jack will have to kiss Ethan first. "How do you know that I couldn't?" Jack says sulkily. "I don't know. I'm guessing," Ethan says wearily. Jack gets to his feet and says that maybe Ethan's "guessing wrong" -- maybe Jack is ready after all. Okay, let's review: two cute boys. In tuxes. Alone in the train station. Standing maybe ten inches away from one another. I'M DYING HERE, WARNER BROTHERS. ["Yeah! Give it up, already! Justify my love!" -- Wing Chun] Anyway, needless to say, Ethan points these very things out to Jack and dares Jack to kiss him. Jack's eyes fill with tears; of course, he can't do it. Ethan makes an "I knew it" face, picks up his bag, and walks out without a word, and Jack starts crying. Oh, sad.

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Dawson's Creek

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