Dawson's Creek
The Bostonians

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B- | Grade It Now!
The Bostonians

Party town. Audrey and Joey perch on…something. It looks like they're sitting on the edge of a balcony? It might just be a bench. Whatever. They're sitting, and they're talking, and they're bonding. Audrey's waxing poetic to Joey about the joys of singing with the band. Joey makes gloomy, buzz-killing faces for about twenty minutes before telling Audrey she was right about Joey being "stuck in the past." She's working "her ass off, learning," blah blah blah blah, "yet there's still part of [her] that's fifteen years old. Still stuck back in Capeside. Still in love with the boy down the creek. Who only sees [her] as a friend." Audrey looks at her for a long moment (possibly to swallow her bile) for before launching into her own High School Song Of Woe. "Chris," she begins. "He was my high school boyfriend. Saying goodbye to him was maybe the hardest thing I've ever done. Because I know that no matter how much we loved each other, no matter how much we promised to stay true to one another, it just wouldn't work. We'd end up hurting each other. So I cut the cord, and I said goodbye. And it's really hard sometimes. Because I know he's out there, somewhere, falling in and out of love with these girls that aren't me." She and Joey look at their feet. "You must think that I'm this great big slut or something, huh?" Audrey asks. "But I'm just trying to live life, you know, and have fun, and if I feel like kissing some boy…" she trails off. "Then so be it," Joey finishes for her. "Exactly!" Audrey says. "No regrets." Joey looks thoughtful. "This was a really good conversation, Joey Potter," Audrey chirps, falling fatally into The Club Of People Who Call Others By Their Full Name For No Good Reason. "Hope there's more to come." Joey smiles at her. "Me, too," she says.

So the line for the bathroom at this here frat party is really, really long. Like the line for the bathroom at all frat parties, I guess. A dude knocks frantically on the bathroom door. Inside, Joey sits on the edge of the bathtub, her phone pressed to her ear. She calls to the Knocker that she'll be out in just a second. Can I take a sidebar to say that there's no frat in the world with a bathroom this clean? I remember one fraternity at UCLA that had a trail of urine outside, twenty-four hours a day, because the toilets were always backed up. It was also known as "the Date Rape Frat," which really tells you all you need to know. I never actually went inside, but I assume the bathrooms were unpleasant. Across the street, there was a frat that boasted bathrooms with no doors. Or, usually, toilet paper. This bathroom? Has candles and tea lights and, like, soap. There's simply no way. Even if the bathroom started out clean, by this point there ought to be toilet paper all over the floor and beer cups in the tub. You learn these things when you're cursed with a small bladder. Anyway. Joey's leaving a long, long message for Dunston while the rest of the partygoers pee their pants and curse her. The message is basically all "I'm having fun, I miss you, blah blah, blew off this nice guy because of you, blee blee you're out there following your dream, yada yada, I think it's time I let you go, bliddedy blah, really hard for me, yada yada, in love with you for the rest of my life, blah blah blah blah. This is me cutting the cord. This is me doing what I should have done three months ago; cutting the cord, Dawson. Call me back, because by 'cutting the cord' I mean 'I'd like you to contact me immediately to tell me that you can't live without me.' Bye." Well, that's a nice clean break, no?

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Dawson's Creek




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