Dawson's Creek
Dawson's Creek

Episode Report Card
Sars: C- | 379 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Please Please Mr. Postman

Boiler Room. Pacey arrives at 9 AM, but the office is already a hive of stage-business activity. Bobby Briggs busts on him for his tardiness and makes a snitty did-your-mommy-dress-you-today comment about how Pacey looks "like a pansy." "Pansy"? Ah, the hard-charging heterosexual world of high finance, where the wrong tie means you take it up the ass. Whatever. Shut up, Bobby Briggs. No such luck -- Bobby refers to Pacey's alleged lack of sack, and sticks the young Jedi with a stack of cold-call files on rich guys and the prediction that Pacey won't succeed in selling them anything. Let's just assume the writers' thoroughly misconceived idea of how cold calls actually work as facts in evidence, and move on to Bobby haranguing Pacey about how his good looks won't get him anywhere with the cold-callees, so he should "stop batting his eyes at [Bobby]" and get to it. As Bobby breezes off, Pacey asks grouchily if the cold-calling is a punishment for something. Bobby says he's just trying to get rid of Pacey: "I don't have enough desks!" Yeah, well, all the desks in the world won't prevent this "plot" from plunging me into a coma.

Jack and Jen "Liza" Lindley file into class. Jack is all hectic about getting a good seat, the better to drool on the hot prof, and yanks Jen out of the way so that he can sit on the inside. As they clamber over another student (who, weirdly, looks a lot like Tobey…man, I miss Tobey. Come back, Tobey!), Jen shoots him a "whatever" look. Jack claims he just wants to see the blackboard, but Jen isn't buying that and gives him guff for ogling Professor Freeman. Audrey, suddenly seated on Jack's other side, is there for the same reason, and Jen gives her guff too, pointing out that she must have her own classes to go to. Audrey shrugs that off, and Jen says that maybe Worthington will boot Audrey if she misses enough class, but as they start to do shtick about that, Jack officiously shushes them. Jen leans over him to tell Audrey that "this is studious Jack, not to be confused with fun-time Jack," and he doesn't like to miss a word of Freeman's lectures. Jack ignores them as Audrey asks how Jen manages to nap during class, between Grams and studious Jack and everything. Jen very seriously says that she doesn't, and then Freeman calls the class to order and Jack shushes the girls again. Freeman, who is wearing what looks like a guayabera, announces an extra-credit assignment that involves going to the movies, then poorly delivers a weak joke about it, which Jack laughs too hard at. Audrey and Jen look at him like, "Um, it's not that funny, G," and Jack's all, "…What?" Freeman drones on about the trope of the beautiful girl playing ugly in film while Jen and Audrey whisper about Miss Congeniality and Jack adopts a mien of great concentration; Freeman adds that students can see him after class to find out more. Oh, dear.

Dawson's Creek

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