Dawson's Creek
Dawson's Creek

Episode Report Card
625 USERS: C+
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The Impostors

She's about to angrily inform him what it is, exactly, that she does want, but she's interrupted by Emma, who sighs that she can't believe they're fighting again. I can. It's supposed to be, I believe, a sort of Moonlighting-esque Co-Workers Spend A Lot Of Time Arguing Because They Lurve Each Other In Spite Of Themselves type thing. Of course, it's actually just boring. But whatever. Oliver tells Emma that they're not fighting. Apparently, they're having a philosophical discussion. God, will anything interesting ever happen on this show again? I'm almost wishing for another Musical Mugger episode. At least there was some blood spilled in that one. Eventually, Emma rolls her eyes and skips off to rehearse with her Very Contrived Punk Band. But not before rubbing her eyes and complaining about her rapidly and conveniently disappearing bandmates. Emma pinches Oliver's cheek and tells the two of them to kiss and make up and get back to work. And then she leaves. Joey rolls her eyes, horribly offended. Oliver just smiles. "You told her?" Joey yelps. "Coincidence," Oliver tells her, then wonders what would motivate him to tell Emma that Joey wanted to swap some spit, anyway. "To embarrass me," Joey snaps, as though this were entirely obvious. Self-Centered, your table is ready! Instead of smacking her, however, Oliver just chirps that Joey is doing an excellent job of embarrassing herself without any help from him. She shoots him a dirty look and leaves with her order. You guys? I totally hate Joey now. I think I hate her more than I hate Dawson. If I had to be stranded on a deserted island with one of them for all eternity, I would pick Dawson. I mean it. At the very least, his head would provide shelter from the elements.

Credits.

Schmancy hotel bar. Natasha and Todd are knocking a few back. Enter the Head. Natasha greets him without making eye contact and quickly makes her exit, kindly leaving Dawson alone with his one true love, Todd. Todd take another swig of his drink, then informs Dawson drunkenly that if he -- Dawson -- weren't such a total disaster with the ladies, he might be sneaking off to join Natasha right this moment. Then he tries to sneak off himself, taking a large bottle of vodka with him. Dawson, naturally, stops him, saying that they need to discuss problems on the set. Todd rolls his eyes and puts the vodka back on the bar. He drunkenly slurs that, as he suspected, Dawson is not there to "participate in the general debauchery." Todd is so drunk, however, that this comes out as "partiiiiiiicipatttte indie gener deboshrye." Dawson says something boring about how they're behind schedule and over budget and Todd really needs to return Whitney's calls and blah blah blah no one cares about the intricacies of this fictional movie. On cue, Whitney arrives at the bar. She's pissed. She wants a better room, and she wants to find out what the hell is going on the set. Dawson skips off to get Whitney a nicer suite. Todd shoots him a series of overly dramatic frightened looks. I can't believe I'm still recapping this boring subplot.

Dawson's Creek

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