Dawson's Creek
The Impostors

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The Impostors

Professor Unambiguously Closeted finds Jack on the street corner, buying a coffee. How did he find him? I don't care. Did he walk the streets of Boston, searching for him? I couldn't possibly bring myself to even wonder. Professor Unambiguously Closeted hands over Jack's regraded paper. Jack got a "B." Good for Jack. But honestly, if Jack were my best friend in the entire world, my most enthusiastic reaction to this development would be, "Good for you, sweetie! Hey, is Christina Aguilera even skankier now or what?" Seeing as I barely care what happens to anyone on this show this season at all, I can't even offer that much emotion. Anyway, Professor Unambiguously Closeted admits that he did let his emotions affect the way he graded Jack's paper. Blah blah when he was young it was hard to be gay, blah blah the world has changed because people were willing to stand up for their right to love whomever they chose, yada yada yada Jack requests that the TA grade him henceforth. "No problem," Professor Unambiguously Closeted says. And I certainly hope Jack has learned a valuable lesson from this. About what, I really can't imagine. But I'm sure there's some nugget of wisdom he can pick up from all this. Isn't there? Oh, I really don't care. Professor Unambiguously Closeted leaves, just as Jen arrives. Jack sadly explains that he was just getting the thing with his paper straightened out. "Oh, is it?" she asks. "Straight?" Jack asks. "Perfectly." Bada bing! Thanks, folks! They'll be here all night! Because, see, with the "gay" thing and the "straight" thing and the "straightened out" thing? Yawn. Jack shoves the paper into his back pocket and wanders down the street with Jen, looking forlorn.

Next week: I don't care.

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Dawson's Creek




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