Dawson's Creek
The Impostors

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The Impostors

Pacey explains that it's just the first book he's seen her crack all semester. Audrey ignores him in favor of looking in the fridge. "Hey, Audrey!" Pacey finally yells. Joshua Jackson is cute, even with the increasingly stupid facial hair. "What?" Audrey yells in response. Pacey chirps that he's just trying to talk to his girlfriend. "Okay," Audrey snits petulantly. Pacey wants to know what's bothering her. Audrey lies that nothing is bothering her. Maybe I should take a nap. Pacey puts his arms around Audrey and tells her that she's acting weird. "Define 'weird,'" Audrey mutters. Pacey's dictionary defines "weird" as "studious and quiet." Audrey huffs, offended. "What, I act like Joey for a second and suddenly, I'm weird?" she snaps. Pacey sighs. He just wants to know if maybe Audrey and Jen got into some trouble at the party last week, he finally says hesitantly. Audrey denies this -- too quickly -- and says that, for a former party girl, Jen's "not even on a first-name basis with trouble." Which is, frankly, true. Pacey keeps questioning her, though, and Audrey finally just tells him that Jen met a nice guy, "a regular knight in shining armor." Pacey grins. "Just like me?" he asks, squeezing her affectionately. "Yes, Pacey. Just like you," Audrey parrots reluctantly. Pacey starts kissing her neck, murmuring that they've got the entire apartment to themselves. Audrey kisses him back unenthusiastically, then turns away. Pacey's face falls. "Um, yeah. I'm sorry," Audrey mutters. Pacey looks stunned. Audrey tells him that she's really tired. Pacey immediately backs off. "No! No, it's all right!" he tells her, overly cheerful. He climbs back into his armchair and opens his own book. Audrey has the good grace to look slightly guilty. Not that turning down sex if you're not in the mood is something you should feel guilty about, just that -- oh, you know what I mean. She's being a total brat.

Cut to the next morning. Pacey is dressed for work, but sitting in the same chair, snoring over his books. Emma stumbles out of her bedroom, rubbing her eyes, and muttering Pacey's name. No response. "Pacey!" Emma yelps, staring at the empty coffee pot on the counter. "Yes! What? I didn't do it!" Pacey says, sitting bolt upright. Emma exposits that he was up all night studying. And that he drank all the coffee. Oh, the drama! "No!" Pacey says. "Okay, yes. But there's more, and we have plenty," he speeds, leaping out of the chair and racing over to the kitchen, telling Emma that people say it's hard to stay up all night, but it's actually totally not, although the hour between 4:00 AM and 5:00 AM will really get you -- and that's true -- and blah blah non-convertible bonds, equity, stockbroker yada yada yada snore. Finally Emma just barks at him to give her the coffee, which he does. Water runs in the background. "That's not your bloody girlfriend in the shower again, is it?" Emma screams. "Nope, that's Jack," Pacey lies. Then Audrey starts singing "California Dreaming." She sounds okay. Just okay. No better than any other shower soloist, like, ever. It's certainly no better than my own rendition of "Oops, I Did It Again" this morning at approximately 8:30 AM. Of course, I was really on fire today, so that's a lot to live up to. Emma shoots Pacey a dirty look and grits that Audrey is at the apartment all the time. Pacey sputters that Emma needs to talk to Audrey about that. He races out the door. Wow, roommate relations issues! God, this is fascinating! In no way is it true that I'm only watching this show because I'm contractually obligated to do so!

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Dawson's Creek

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