Bathroom. Audrey sings. Emma gets ready to yell at her, but instead listens and looks thoughtful. I seriously think they're trying to bore me to death.
Professor Unambiguously Closeted's classroom. Jen settles into a desk next to Jack, wondering what happened between Jack and Professor Unambiguously Closeted at the party. I can't believe they haven't already had this conversation, but whatever. Jack sputters that Professor Unambiguously Closeted is straight, and even if he weren't, Jack certainly wouldn't get involved with him. While they're chatting, the TAs hand out their most recent papers. Jen gets a B-plus. Jack gets a C-minus. Oh no! The paper is twenty percent of the grade! And Professor Unambiguously Closeted reviewed all the grades himself! He must be punishing Jack for not wanting to have sex with him! The scandal! I've never seen such a plot on television before! Where are my smelling salts? I think I'm having an attack of the vapors!
Joey. Oliver. Worthington. Dropping dead of boredom and agony. Joey runs into the dreamy bartender on her way to the library, and offers to help him put up these posters he's lugging around advertising Emma's band's gig at Liberty Hell's Kitchen. "Should have kept walking," Oliver just says. He doesn't need her help, he finally continues, and in fact, he says, he liked her "a lot better when [she was] surly." Joey begins to protest that she's not surly, but realizes that this is a giant lie and corrects herself by saying that they've both been acting immaturely since "the incident." Oliver rolls his eyes and tells her not to back down like that. "If you do that in class today, [Professor Flip-Flops] will eat you alive." Joey changes the subject, wondering when he's doing his presentation. But Oliver starts getting all snitty about the kissing again, neatly sidestepping her question. He doesn't want them to start acting like everything is "nice" between them, he says, when nothing is nice between them whatsoever. In the course of this calculated little hissyfit, Oliver dubs the kissing "agreeable, yes, but hardly nice." Oh, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. People kiss! It doesn't always have to mean anything, you know, other than "hey, I'd like to see what your tongue feels like in my mouth." Anyway. Oliver reels off a bunch of snippy comments and runs away. Joey rolls her eyes. The audience snores.
Movie set. Snore. Yawn. Drool. Whitney is running all over the place, basically acting like a real pain in the ass. She informs Todd yet again that he's behind schedule and over budget and that the suits hate Natasha and I think I'm just going to go back to sleep. In fact, I was dreaming that I was in the middle of a calculus exam -- even though, in real life, I talked my way out of taking calculus, like, ever -- and even that was much more entertaining that this is. And I say that as someone who really, really dislikes math. Basically, Whitney wants to shut down production and recast. But Dawson has to butt his big fat head in, insisting that Natasha can do the job and saying that for this movie to work, the heroine has to be "both sexy and intelligent. Natasha is that girl." What is this fluid coming out of my mouth? Why, it's vomit! I hate this show. Whitney gives Dawson a supremely dirty look, then turns to Todd. "Why do I care what he thinks?" she asks snidely, bless her. Todd sputters that Dawson is the flick's target demo and also his one true love and I seriously think that I might follow through on my previous threat to recap a book on my shelf rather than continue with this agonizingly dull Movie In Jeopardy plot. Anyway, Whitney finally agrees reluctantly when Dawson suggests they show her some recut footage of Natasha's performance. Todd is so thrilled by this development that he kisses Dawson right on the mouth. Not really, but you know he wants to. And you know, maybe I'll just start making shit up now. It's bound to be more interesting that what's actually happening.