Dawson's Creek
The Impostors

Episode Report Card
The Impostors

Classroom of the Closeted. Jen looks at the blue books before them and sputters that there must be some mistake, because her grade is better than Jack's even though he's been working hard all semester! How can this be? Jack snorts unintelligibly and goes to take the issue up with Professor Unambiguously Closeted. "Don't tell me. Another unsatisfied customer," Professor Unambiguously Closeted says, before he sees which customer it is, exactly. Jack yelps that Professor Unambiguously Closeted told him he enjoyed Jack's paper. At the frat party where he hit on him! Professor Unambiguously Closeted sputters that he meant that he enjoyed the content of the paper, but that Jack's grasp of structure is quite "rudimentary." Which is BS, by the way, even if it's true. Bad structure won't get you graded down to a C-minus. B-minus, sure. But if the content is really good, I can't imagine that the structure is bad enough to warrant such a drubbing. Anyway. Professor Unambiguously Closeted doesn't meet Jack's eyes as he tells him that he can recommend some good books on structure. He turns to go, but feels compelled to add that "a C-minus isn't that bad." Um, yes it is. It's certainly not good. Professor Unambiguously Closeted also reminds Jack that he -- Jack -- already admitted that he wasn't a very motivated student. Jack looks tremendously hurt and says he thought he was doing better this semester. Professor Unambiguously Closeted wonders snidely if maybe Jack had overly high expectations of himself. Yawn. This isn't interesting at all! If I wanted to see students complain about their grades, I would start skulking around the local high school.

Movie set. Instead of explaining how Whitney is gone for the afternoon, but will be coming back to watch the dailies later, and how Todd is going to fire Natasha if she doesn't nail the next scene, I'd like to discuss Roald Dahl's book The Twits, which was my favorite book when I was seven years old. I made my Daddy read it to me every night. The Twits is about an enormously unpleasant married couple. They hate each other and spend the entire book playing increasingly mean, albeit hilarious, pranks on one another, calling each other terrible names, and being mean to their trained monkeys. I recommend it highly! Next on Jessica Talks About The Books On Her Coffee Table Instead Of Recapping A Boring Scene On Dawson's Creek: Britney Spears' Heart to Heart, by Britney and Lynne Spears. Shouldn't that be "Britney Spears's Heart to Heart"? ["Yes." -- Sars] How appropriate that there would be a grammatical error on the cover of Britney's little book.

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Dawson's Creek




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