Dawson's Creek
The Impostors

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The Impostors

Elsewhere on set, Dawson walks in on Natasha while she's changing. Don't ask why she's picking out her own wardrobe. This must be a very low-budget film. Anyway. His seeing her naked leads to her calling him a "prude," but also to her admitting that they both have "room for improvement" as far as their relationship goes. She then admits that she knows she needs to nail this scene but she has no idea what her motivation is, so Dawson, because he's a genius, gives it to her. "Don't think. Just act," is his stellar advice, like, thanks, Stella Adler, but that's pretty crappy motivation. And there's actually even more extremely boring dialogue, but I'm really very busy reading about how Britney was voted Most Beautiful in her high school yearbook.

Stockbrokers'. Pacey's leaning back in his chair, on the phone, trying to make a sale. In walks Audrey, wearing a very short kilt. All the men in the office stare at her ass like they've never seen a girl before. Pacey disconnects and intercepts her. Audrey smiles at him widely. "What are you doing here?" he hisses. "Get a room, Witter," one of the stockbrokers yells. Who heckles their officemates? I'm going to try that tomorrow. At any rate, Pacey thinks getting a room is an excellent idea, and hustles Audrey into the conference room. My notes for this scene read, "Is A. supposed to be a moron?" And I'd still like to know the answer to that question, now that you mention it. Audrey simpers that he never takes her calls at the office. Pacey explains that he's already on the phone, you know, doing his job. She begs him not to be mad at her for interrupting him at the office, but she has really, really, really big news: she's joining Emma's band! And he has to come to their gig at Liberty Hell's Kitchen! She needs him there! "Say no more," Pacey says, telling her that he'll gladly come to the gig if she'll leave the office and never, ever come back.

Worthington. Joey's giving an oral presentation for Prof. Flip-Flops. And he's being such an asshole that I really don't understand why she doesn't just drop his class. I mean, it's an upper-level seminar, and I don't get the impression that it's required. He's a dick. He's borderline abusive to his students. Drop the class, you stupid girl! I swear, sometimes I wonder how exactly we're supposed to even pretend to believe that Joey's this big fat brain. Anyway. She's standing up there with her little notecards, giving her presentation on Lolita. Professor Flip-Flops holds up a weary finger. "Stop. I'm so bored, I'm losing my pulse here, Potter," he says. Oh, writers. You make the jokes almost too easy! Anyway, Flip-Flops starts giving Joey shit, thus making it clear that Brainy Little Joey Potter is giving a presentation on a book she apparently has not read. The only person in the class who has read Lolita, it seems, is Oliver. Flip-Flops sarcastically thanks God that Oliver is there to provide the proper answers, shoots Oliver a spectacularly dirty look, and gives Joey permission to "go back to boring [them] to death." Oliver spits that if Flip-Flops would lay off Joey for once, maybe she wouldn't be so nervous. And so Flip-Flops, who clearly has some sort of personality disorder, turns on Oliver with a vengeance, snapping that he's a pretty lenient teacher who tends to overlook facts that other teachers might not, and isn't that true, Oliver? Twenty more minutes of Sturm und Drang make it fairly clear that there's something strange going on between Flip-Flops and Oliver, namely that Oliver isn't really a student and Flip-Flops is enjoying holding that over his head. Well, that doesn't specifically come out until later in the episode, but it's really made fairly clear in this scene, and I have to get back to my nap. At any rate, Oliver goes storming out of the classroom and Joey chases him into the hallway…

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Dawson's Creek

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