Cut to Hell's Kitchen, which I guess is the gang's new hangout. Pacey plays pool as Jack eats a burger. Hmmm, cheeseburgers. I'm hungry. Anyway, guess who's their waitress? No, guess! Yes! It's Emma -- or, as the forums have dubbed her, Emma, The Haughty Beer Wench. Pacey crows that this is a "sign!" Emma sighs that's more likely "an omen of bad things to come." I am already SO BORED by this plot line. Pacey mentions that he has a girlfriend twenty-five more times, pointing frantically at the irritated-looking Audrey. Emma just stares at him. Pacey implores Audrey to tell Emma that it would be okay for him to live with her. Like she's his mother. "I'm not telling her anything. She's hot." Audrey says. "Thank you," Emma says. "You're welcome," Audrey tells her. Jesus. This plot line is so tiresome. Clearly, they're going to live together! And, in the real world, if someone said, "I don't want to live with you," the other person would move on, rather than acting like a STALKER about an APARTMENT. But, no, Pacey will not let it go. Instead, he keeps on yammering, finally grabbing the chewing Jack to introduce him to Emma. "Jack's gay," Pacey announces. "He doesn't look very gay," Emma says. Emma has some ingrained stereotypes about the gay and lesbian community that I think she needs to work through. "Jack?" Pacey prompts. Jack grunts. "You?" Pacey asks. Grunt. "Gay?" Pacey says. "Oh, yeah," Jack confirms through a mouth full of beef. Er, so to speak. "Well, good for Jack then," Emma chirps. "So, we any closer to getting that apartment?" Pacey inquires hopefully. "No," Emma says. "I didn't think so," Pacey whimpers. Hee. Okay, that bit was cute. Why? Because Jack and Pacey work well together. And because Joshua Jackson is charming enough to pull off a plot line about someone basically harassing a total stranger about becoming her roommate.
Joey bralessly bounces down the street to Hell's Kitchen to meet her friends. She flashes her suddenly much whiter smile at them through the window, then heads inside. Everyone hugs. Hell's Kitchen is like Central Perk plus Cheers times a dark, dank alley divided by last season's Liberty Hell, including a little bit of the actual Hell. Squared.
Later, Joey and Pacey meet at the jukebox. She complains that it hasn't played her song yet. "Maybe the jukebox rejected it," Pacey says, "on the grounds that there's been enough whiny chick rock for one night, I think, pretty much." Personally, I simply don't believe that jukeboxes ought to contain any variation on whiny ovary music whatsoever. The jukebox is the sole domain of oldies, classic rock and Bon Jovi and that's really about it. Joey pouts. "Bite me," she whines. Pacey leans over and nips her upper arm. "Pacey, gross!" Joey squeals. He chuckles. Aw, that was a cute, if fifth-gradey, moment. Joey demands an explanation of the day's earlier dorm room shenanigans. "Do you remember our particular summer together?" he asks. Wow, I can't believe the writers remember their particular summer together. Joey indicates that she does. "Remember when we came back, we were all lovely-dovey and we didn't really want the summer to end, as such?" he asks. Joey grins. "Speak for yourself," she retorts. "But I do recall something to that effect." Pacey smiles down at her. "Let's say for the sake of argument that I am not at all unhappy that this summer is ending," he admits. Long story short: Hollywood Audrey is a little exhausting. Joey listens to this quietly, then tells Pacey that she has a bit of a conflict of interest. The part of her that is his good friend and "erstwhile paramour" thinks that "life's too short" and he needs to do what makes him happy. "Erstwhile Paramour" is the name of my Morrisey cover band. On the other hand, she says, the part of her that is Audrey's friend and roommate says, "you know what? You breaka her heart, I breaka your face." Joey pokes him in the chest. "You got it?" she asks. Pacey grimaces and rubs his left pec. He gets it. Joey grabs his hand and drags him into the corner to make out. Er, I mean, "back to the table."