Joey continues the never-ending narration, telling us that Jen's parents sat her down in the Hamptons and told her they were getting a divorce. "She was happy," Joey says. "Really, truly, happy. She thought it was the most functional thing her parents had ever done." This prompts a shot of Jen grinning goofily at her parents. Or, rather, the back of the two stand-ins they got to play her parents, as there was no way the Powers That Be were going to pony up the cash for Hope to come back for one second to play Jen's mother. Joey explains that Jen went on to have the best summer of her young life. Blah, blah, blah. Let's get to the action!
And then there was Dawson. Joey gazes moonily at a black and white photo of the Beek (snapped back when he had a full head of hair) before sticking it into the place of honor in her corkboard, all the while simpering that after all the gross kissy-poo action at the airport, she and Dawson didn't talk to each other at all over the summer. "Which is weird, I guess, but at the same time not," she says, explaining that she just never got around to calling him. Well, there's true love for you. "But what Dawson said that night, it definitely rang true. My life is out there waiting for me, I know it is!" Joey says. " And what's really cool is that I have no idea what to expect. But whatever it is, I'm ready for it. I'm excited. Bring it on!" Joey cheers, then smiles cheerfully at her dorm room.
New credits (including Audrey), still singing the same old song.
So, Joey runs to class as an updated version of the theme song from The Mary Tyler Moore Show plays on the soundtrack and I fly into a murderous rage. I don't know what percentage of Dawson's Creek's audience has even seen The Mary Tyler Moore Show, but I've think I've seen nearly every episode, as my mother used to watch it every evening in syndication when I was a little girl. And let me just say that, as far as It goes, Mary Tyler Moore's Mary Richards just spanks Joey Potter. In all honesty, I can't say how much of that is Katie Holmes's fault. It just seems to me that the more the writers try to shove Joey's fantabulousness down the audience's throat, the more I want to vomit. And I used to like Joey -- remember when she smacked that jerk with her lunch tray? That was some It, right there. Anyway. Joey's all running to class and looking at her watch and I presume she's running late. By the way, I'm taking the fact that she's wearing a belt as a shout-out. In her haste, Joey smacks right into a man in shorts and flip-flops, knocking him to the ground. His briefcase goes flying. "You hit hard for a girl," Flip-Flops observes from the ground. "I'm so sorry," Joey says. "I'm late for something." For the record, she sounds more irritated than sorry. "Ever heard of an alarm?" Flip-Flops asks. "I said I was sorry!" Joey snits and stomps off. "Sorry's not going to unbruise my ass, now, is it?" Flip-Flops calls after her. I hear that "Unbruise My Ass" is the name of Toni Braxton's follow-up to "Unbreak My Heart."