Shout-outs this week to the Biscuit, Little E, Ernie, and Wing.
Things finally get underway this week with a dolly-cam shot of the Fearsome Foursome -- Dawson, Joey, Pacey, and Jen -- posing beneath that giant neon WB sign, and an endless recap sequence of scenes from last season with an inane voice-over blathering on about "last season's instant phenomenon" and "four lives discovering the world around them" and which more or less serves as a pretentious-dialogue-and-bad-hair Cliff's Notes for anyone who missed the previous episodes. Then comes a healthy portion of brand new pretentious dialogue and bad hair in the form of scenes from the coming season. Just as the words "for god's sweet sake get on with it" form on my lips, the WB posts its usual "not recommended for younger viewers" disclaimer, and the show begins.
Establishing shot of Chez Leery, with some estrogen-sodden Lilith Fair refugee crooning "say goodnight, not goodbye, you will never leave my heart" in the background. The camera pans up to the window of Dawson's bedroom, with the silhouette of Dawson and Joey kissing visible behind the shade. Inside the bedroom, Dawson "Cereal Box Head" Leery and Joey "Method Actress" Potter, still smooching away, complete with lip-smacking sound effects. Memo to sound guy: turn down the mix on the lip mic. Thank you. Okay, then Joey says, "Was that...?" and Dawson says, "...a kiss," and they stare at each other for a moment, and Joey smiles and says, "You kissed me," and Dawson sort of smirks and says, "Yeah," except he actually says something more like "yeeunnh," and let me take this opportunity to observe that James van der Beek's acting during this scene bears a remarkable resemblance to someone who has just taken about seventeen bong hits. They almost start to kiss again but Dawson says, "So..." and Joey says, "So..." and Dawson says, "Well..." and Joey, already getting defensive, says, "'Well' what?" and Dawson says, "Well, that was a kiss," as though we hadn't already established that to the satisfaction of everyone on earth including several people who dwell underneath large boulders, and then Joey says, "I'll say," and they touch foreheads, and I half expect their foreheads to light up a la "E.T." in yet another reference to Dawson's tiresome bedroom shrine to Steven Spielberg, and then Dawson says, "So now what?" Any other 16-year-old boy with so much as a single active hormone would have gone for the bra and asked questions later, but not Mr. I-Want-Romance Frosted Flake Head. Anyhow, Joey gives Dawson a look and says, "I don't know," and cross-eyed Dawson says, "Me neither." Joey: "Maybe we could..." Dawson: "What?" Joey: "...forget it." Dawson: "No, you were going to say something, what were you going to say?" By now they've both moved over to sit down on Dawson's bed, and this blocking gives the audience a better view of Dawson's hair, which has been combed down into a proto-mullet-meets-Prince-Valiant 'do, and someone went way overboard with the Sun-In because his hair has gotten much blonder and looks like a bad wig. Joey: "Nothing, I mean, I don't know, I don't know what I was going to say."
Then Dawson says, "You were going to say we shouldn't have done that, I mean, that's what you're thinking, right?" and Joey gives him a look that would kill while Dawson stares pensively into the middle distance and she says, "Dawson, I don't have a thought in my head right now, but apparently that's what YOU'RE thinking, so," and she gets up to deliver one of her Joey bon mots about Dawson's suckiness and storm down the ladder and back to her house, and Dawson gets up too and says, "No, I..." and Joey cuts him off and says, "Look, let's sleep on it," at which point the previously mentioned single hormone finally kicks in and Dawson leers (get it? "Leers?" Dawson LEERY? Okay, forget it) at her and Joey says, "Not TOGETHER, I mean you in your bed and me in mine," and Dawson stammers, "Right, absolutely, obviously -- we'll sleep on it, and we'll wake up, and this'll all be a dream," like, excuse me, Dawson, but Spielberg did not direct "Dallas" so please spare us the Bobby Ewing reference. Joey naturally takes this personally: "Like it never happened?" Dawson gets confused: "Is that what you want?" Joey's defensiveness escalates: "Is that what YOU want?" Before he can answer, she snaps, "Fine. Poof. Didn't happen, Dawson," and heads for the door, but Dawson grabs her as she starts out the window and says, "Joey! Joey. Don't even think about climbing out that window," and instead of saying, "Actually, I planned on JUMPING out that window, you charmless oaf," she smiles happily as Dawson takes her face in his hands and they kiss again, and could the sound guy PLEASE turn down the mix on the lip mic?