I've got Tom Green's Road Trip right here -- IN MY PANTS (tm Bryan).

Here we go again -- take three of Trashomon (tm notworking). Sunset. Waterfront. Flashmobile. Champagne. "Where's Joey," "she's at the library," blah dee blah, cut to Joey and Pacey kissing, and agreeing to tell Dawson, and kissing some more. Um, whose point of view have we got here? Joey stops the kissing, thank god, and tells Pacey to go ahead and she'll catch up. More kissing. Dear sound editor: please turn down the lip mics, because I can hear snippets of molar conversation. Love, the tattered and bleeding remains of Sars's eardrum. Pacey appears, Jack comments, Andie says they can get started, Dawson says not without the champagne they can't, and as Pacey stammers that sparkling cider would have worked just as well, Joey appears and does The Walk Of Overly Casual Guilt over to sit next to Jen.

Dawson says condescendingly that Pacey took something "destined for the scrapheap" and made it "a thing of beauty" and "a viable mode of transportation." Like, buck up, little sailor! Pacey doesn't know what to say, so he makes that grim chuckling noise again; from the dock, Jack urges him to "get this show on the road," and Pacey tells him to hang on before asking Dawson if he'll "be home after all this." Dawson says yes, for a little while, but he has to work later; Pacey says, "Cool," and trots down to the boat, saying he'll keep it short. Joey watches him go by with adoring eyes, which she drops when Dawson follows Pacey down and stands beside Joey. Dawson greets her warmly; she responds awkwardly. Pacey gives a speech thanking Hurricane Chris for letting him afford the boat to begin with, and thanking everyone who helped him get the boat in seaworthy condition, and then he christens the boat "True Love" with a quick glance in Joey's direction, and Jen gives Joey a look, which Joey avoids, and Pacey smashes the bottle on the side of the boat and everyone claps. Whatever.

Library. Dawson is lurking in the stacks and sees Will, who's looking for the "secret room" Andie usually studies in. Dawson directs him, but before he goes Will asks what Dawson and Joey did on their first date. Dawson categorizes this as a "left-field question" -- not entirely accurate, since on occasion people have cared what came out of left field, whereas nobody cares about Will and his Hair-Club-For-Men non-plot -- but Will needs ideas for his date with Andie. Dawson says he and Joey went to the movies, but calls this "a terrible idea" because you can't talk to or look at your date, although anyone on a date with Dawson would probably describe that state of affairs as "a great idea" or "the only tolerable idea," particularly given the current condition of Dawson's hair, which in this scene resembles a big old kinky claw parted down the center and foofed out into a fugly over-processed yellow proscenium framing his gigantic forehead -- I mean, his hair is so unbelievably, horrendously bad that it defies my powers of description. Anyway, Dawson suggests, "There's always the creek," and blabbers on about moonlight on the water and how it's "achieved cliché status because it actually is that romantic," and Will asks about getting a boat, so Dawson offers his own boat. Will asks politely what Dawson's up to that night, and Dawson says smugly, "I think I might try to hook up with an old friend." Yeah, good luck with that, Frizzy Gillespie.