The title of this episode, "The Lost Weekend," is derived, I assume, from the Billy Wilder-penned film of the same name, in which Ray Milland plays an alcoholic who literally drinks himself to death. Unfortunately, I have to break it to you that no one drinks themselves to death in this episode of Dawson's Creek. Although I come pretty close.

We kick off this episode in Joey's Spacious And Well-Appointed Dorm Room; Dawson's on his cell phone, confirming that his flight back to Los Angeles is still on time, while Joey sits at her desk and stares blankly at a piece of paper. When Dawson disconnects, Joey blinks and announces that today is last day she can drop her writing class. Dawson cheerfully chatters that he thought Joey really enjoyed that class. Joey grouses that she likes it as much as she can like "anything [she's] getting a C in." Dawson sort of shrugs and tells her to "do what she has to do," offering to entertain himself for an hour or so. Joey thanks him and makes pathetic faces. She really needs to brush her hair; it's all stringy at the ends. Maybe she just needs a trim. Trust me, I know from stringy at the ends, and the best cure is to just take the length up a tiny bit. Then Dawson puts a call into his home machine to check his messages. "Hey, there's one from you," he chirps. Joey looks up, a stricken expression on her face. Dawson grins and tells her she "sounds a little drunk." Joey, realizing that Dawson hasn't heard her "I'm cutting the cord" speech, tries to wrestle the phone away from him. He manages to wiggle out of her grasp, grinning. Because he hasn't gotten to the whole cord-cutting portion of the message. Joey then jumps on his back and he carries her around the living room, and when he hangs up, he expresses surprise that she's over him, because he doesn't remember a time when she was under him. Then he takes his monkey and has sex with a girl at the copy shop, because they were on a break. Oh, wait, that's another show. "Some nice guy hit on you!" Dawson chortles. "Yeah, so nice he proceeded to sleep with Audrey," Joey complains.

Um, okay. I know it's a little early for a sidebar, but we could all catch anthrax and drop dead, so why wait, you know? First of all, Econ Boy surely didn't know that he was sleeping with Joey's roommate until he and Joey ran into each other the next morning during their respective Walks Of Shame, so it's not like he slept with Audrey specifically to be mean to Joey. Second, Joey totally blew him off, and she doesn't even know him. Why does she care whom he sleeps with, and how is it any of her business, anyway? Third, people can be perfectly nice and still have the occasional one-night stand, so maybe Joey ought to remove the stick from her ass. Finally, why does she even care?