The title of this episode, "The Lost Weekend," is derived, I assume, from the Billy Wilder-penned film of the same name, in which Ray Milland plays an alcoholic who literally drinks himself to death. Unfortunately, I have to break it to you that no one drinks themselves to death in this episode of Dawson's Creek. Although I come pretty close.
We kick off this episode in Joey's Spacious And Well-Appointed Dorm Room; Dawson's on his cell phone, confirming that his flight back to Los Angeles is still on time, while Joey sits at her desk and stares blankly at a piece of paper. When Dawson disconnects, Joey blinks and announces that today is last day she can drop her writing class. Dawson cheerfully chatters that he thought Joey really enjoyed that class. Joey grouses that she likes it as much as she can like "anything [she's] getting a C in." Dawson sort of shrugs and tells her to "do what she has to do," offering to entertain himself for an hour or so. Joey thanks him and makes pathetic faces. She really needs to brush her hair; it's all stringy at the ends. Maybe she just needs a trim. Trust me, I know from stringy at the ends, and the best cure is to just take the length up a tiny bit. Then Dawson puts a call into his home machine to check his messages. "Hey, there's one from you," he chirps. Joey looks up, a stricken expression on her face. Dawson grins and tells her she "sounds a little drunk." Joey, realizing that Dawson hasn't heard her "I'm cutting the cord" speech, tries to wrestle the phone away from him. He manages to wiggle out of her grasp, grinning. Because he hasn't gotten to the whole cord-cutting portion of the message. Joey then jumps on his back and he carries her around the living room, and when he hangs up, he expresses surprise that she's over him, because he doesn't remember a time when she was under him. Then he takes his monkey and has sex with a girl at the copy shop, because they were on a break. Oh, wait, that's another show. "Some nice guy hit on you!" Dawson chortles. "Yeah, so nice he proceeded to sleep with Audrey," Joey complains.
Um, okay. I know it's a little early for a sidebar, but we could all catch anthrax and drop dead, so why wait, you know? First of all, Econ Boy surely didn't know that he was sleeping with Joey's roommate until he and Joey ran into each other the next morning during their respective Walks Of Shame, so it's not like he slept with Audrey specifically to be mean to Joey. Second, Joey totally blew him off, and she doesn't even know him. Why does she care whom he sleeps with, and how is it any of her business, anyway? Third, people can be perfectly nice and still have the occasional one-night stand, so maybe Joey ought to remove the stick from her ass. Finally, why does she even care?
Anyway, Dawson listens to the rest of the message, his face falling. His hair looks sort of curly all of a sudden, sort of Justin Timberlake by way of Ricky Schroder in Silver Spoons. The Sad Mandolin Of Estranged Soulmates thwangs in the background as Joey sucks both of her lips all the way into her mouth. Dawson hangs up, and grunts. "Apparently, I've got great timing," he says. Joey protests that she was drunk and had no idea what she was saying when she left that message on his machine. Dawson crabs that he wishes he'd known "all that" before he flew three thousand miles to see her. And while --surprisingly -- I sort of feel bad for Dawson in this instance, it's not Joey's fault that he didn't check his machine before he hopped on the plane. He wonders mopily why she didn't mention the whole "cutting the cord" issue during the weekend. She asks why she would mention it if he didn't mention it (because, you know, it's best to just ignore all the issues in your relationship and hope that everyone forgets everything). Finally, Joey admits that she "was mad" at Dawson. Mad because they haven't "resolved anything." Oh my God. Don't these people ever get tired of all these endless attempts at resolution (of total non-problems), what with all the talking and talking and talking and talking? Doesn't anybody just go out for a beer anymore? And I know I just made a crack about how you should talk about your problems and not stick your head in the sand, but for the love of God, people, it's called a happy medium. Dawson admits that he thought they said all they had to say, three months ago in his room. "Great, then I guess we don't have anything left to say," Joey huffs, and starts to gather her books.