Boston Bay College Of Contrivance, Dormitory For Hot Guys Who Work In Radio. Jen and her cute skirt are up in Charlie's room, going through his stuff. She looks at the books on the ground next to the bed; they're all, like, The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas and Like A Fish Needs A Bicycle: The History of Feminist Thought in 20th Century American Politics. Jen comments that Charlie's devotion to the rights of women might be more believable if he had only one of his many women-centric books, as opposed to an entire slate of them. Charlie tells her, wryly, that he's taking a class about feminist literature. "So you can meet women?" Jen asks. "Not everything is a conspiracy. Some things just are," Charlie says. I can't tell you how refreshing it is to find a character on this show who doesn't want to talk every single aspect of his life to death, and who also doesn't hourly feel the need to trot out the fact that he owns an Esoteric Multi-Syllabic Word Of The Day desk calendar. God bless him. Anyway, turns out that Jen is up in Charlie's room to settle a contrived little bet about whether or not he owns a Dolly Parton album including the original recording of "I Will Always Love You." Jen finds this hard to believe. In fact, she says so: "I find it hard to believe that a person who owns 'License to Ill' also owns Volume 2 of 'The Essential Dolly Parton Collection.'" I'd just like to point out that "License to Ill" kicks ass, so that better not be a slam on the seminal album of my junior high school experience. Charlie mumbles something that I can't understand, even though I listen to it three times, but I'm sure it's charming. He then says something about how this Dolly Parton song will turn Jen's life completely upside down and also totally blow her mind. She flirtatiously tells him that she thought "that's what people were for." He flops on the bed, down next to where Jen is sitting on the floor, and they keep bantering flirtatiously, until Jen just leans over and kisses him smack on the mouth. They look at each other, and then kiss again. Jen pulls away for a moment. "I came here from a small town, I like to knit and I live with my grandma," she tells him. Charlie shrugs. "Works for me," he says. And then they really start going at it, with the kissing and the groping and the panting. Way to go, Jen!
Add/Drop line. I am so bored with this plot. Just to remind you, this story line revolves around dropping a class. It is about an administrative errand. Why don't they just give Katie Holmes a copy of Algebra and Trigonometry: Structure and Methods and ask her to read the first three chapters aloud? At least I'd learn something. Anyway, Joey's in the stupid line, and she gets bored after three hours of trying to figure out how far she can bend over without her ass falling out of those jeans, so she takes her phone and calls Dawson. She learns that he's still with Audrey and that they've been talking about her, and a jealous note creeps into her voice. She informs him that the Add/Drop line is out of control. As she chats, Audrey and Dawson walk up right behind her. Audrey takes Dawson's phone out of his hands. "We're going to hang up on you now," she chirps, and does so. Joey barely has time to look irritated before Audrey and Dawson pop out in front of her, chortling with glee. They cheerfully explain that Audrey gave Dawson a tour of the campus, in her official capacity as tour guide. Joey smiles tightly, and asks Audrey to hold her place in line. She drags Dawson over to a far corner of the shot. "So, you spent the entire morning with her?" Joey asks, in the same kind of tone a reasonable person would use to ask if someone killed a litter of puppies for fun. Dawson tells her that he likes Audrey because she's easy to talk to. Joey spits that Audrey was just flirting with him, and that she'd flirt with anybody, "animal, vegetable, mineral." Dawson chirps that he thinks Audrey is great! Joey bitches some more, and then orders Dawson to go hang out with Jen and Jack. I'm actually feeling sorry for Dawson. I am, in fact, liking Dawson more than I like Joey, right now. What on earth is happening here? Anyway, Dawson asks Joey if they're ever going to finish the conversation they started in her room that morning. "We had a great weekend. Why spoil it with a bunch of talk that ultimately means nothing?" Joey asks. Dawson's brows speed to the top of his giant cranium. "So our future means nothing to you?" he snips. Joey whines that she just wants to do what he told her to do in June: move on. "Are you one hundred percent prepared to do that?" Dawson asks. Oh my GAWD. First of all, since when does "moving on" mean "cutting all ties and never, ever, speaking again?" Growing up doesn't always mean growing apart, people. I just don't understand why this has to be an all-or-nothing proposition. Joey looks back at the Add/Drop line. "I should just go," she says. "Yeah, you should," Dawson says. He flares his nostrils. She makes a miserable face and trudges back to the line. I loathe those two.