Dawson's Creek
The Song Remains The Same (2)

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The Song Remains The Same (2)

Have you read part one? You don't want to miss all the hot Joey-on-Dawson action! Okay, maybe you do.

We open on the morning after. Clothes are strewn all over the floor. If I see undergarments, I swear to God, I'm going to lose my shit. Oh God, are those -- yes, those are panties. I can't believe they're doing this to me, mere moments after I had to see Dawson's hands all over -- I'm sorry, I still can't talk about it. I'm just pretending I didn't see any of that. Including those boxers on the floor. Nope, didn't see those either. La la la la la. The camera pans up to Joey's bed, where Dawson and Joey are all snuggled together. Dawson kisses Joey's naked shoulder. Oh, God, will my torture never end? God, make it stop! Oh, crap, they're doing it again. Did I do something wrong in a former life? Thank God, they cut to the snow globe just before I start vomiting again. I can't vomit this much, people. I'll end up in this hospital being treated for dehydration and exhaustion. Actually, that really doesn't sound so bad. I could just lie there and read magazines. People could visit and bring my flowers and chocolate, and then I could deny to the press that I have a problem with drugs and/or alcohol. Maybe some hot guys would come to my bedside and sob over my condition and wail toward the heavens, praying for my recovery. Also, I hear they serve Jell-O in the hospital. I love me some Jell-O.

Apres…well, you know. Joey wakes up to a note on her pillow. It reads: "Went out for breakfast." She examines this, as the same damn Twinkly Psycho Soulmate Music chortles in the background. I'll be hearing that music in my nightmares. Dawson walks in with coffee. "Hey, you're up," he obviouses. "Yeah. You went out," she replies. "Yeah," he says. Oy, the romantic dialogue between these two! It's searing me with the white-hot flames of its passion! Joey, realizing that she's naked, asks Dawson to hand over her robe. We barely avoid seeing butt crack as she puts it on. Which would have been okay -- my retinas are seared beyond saving already, anyway. She asks if he brought her a latte. He brought her that…and a rose. Oh, gag me. "Roses. All over Worthington," he sighs. She smells it. "Kinda hokey, don't you think?" Joey asks. Dawson agrees. Joey informs him that it's a $500 fine if you're caught picking the roses. "Worth every penny," Dawson says. Joey smiles up at him over the flower. "So, we should probably stop and think about this," she says. Dawson looks away. Must they talk about everything? Can they not enjoy this for five minutes? Apparently not. "You know, about what it means," Joey blathers. "About how all this will change --" Change what? Everything? We never find out, as Dawson kisses her to shut her up. "Maybe later," he says. They kiss again. And he lies her back down on the bed. Again. I stick my head into a bucket of bleach. Again. I didn't need my eyelids, anyway.

The Most Expensive Hotel In Boston, Where Audrey's Dad Is Basically Paying For His Daughter To Have Sex On 400-Thread-Count Sheets. Audrey's on the phone with room service when Pacey comes out of the bathroom and disconnects her. He looks lovely in his suit. "We can afford it!" Audrey yelps at him, re: the room service. "We?" Pacey asks. Audrey clarifies that "[her] dad" can afford it. Oh, this relationship is doomed. I can feel it in my bones. "What do you say? Champagne? Bloody Marys?" Audrey chirps. "I say that we're not on the set of Dynasty and you have class in an hour," Pacey replies, holding a tie up against his suit. Yep. They're doomed. I'd like to add that I don't know why Audrey is doing the Sex and the City Bra Under Lingerie thing here, but it looks sort of cute, albeit somewhat uncomfortable, so I'll let it go. The hotel room is very pretty, too, all white crown molding and pale green walls, although I don't like the layout of the room. I would have put the bed closer to the windows and…this isn't an episode of Trading Spaces so I'll just stop now. Audrey kneels on the bed and fixes Pacey's tie. She tells him that she's sure the interview is just a technicality. "Trust me, when my dad pulls strings, they stay pulled. How do you think I got into Worthington?" she coos. That's just charming. They keep talking, but Pacey looks very cute in the tie and I'm distracted. At any rate, eventually he heads off to his interview and she settles back into bed and calls room service. Mmmm, I love room service.

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Dawson's Creek

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