The episode everyone's been waiting for (read: "dreading") is, apparently, finally here.
Previously on Dawson's Creek: Joey and Pacey smooched at a really awkward angle; Dawson -- hold onto your hats, folks -- bitched to the Flash that Pacey stole his girl, and that it hurts; Joey told Pacey that "dealing with Dawson is a reality for" her, and Pacey reminded her in turn that "the guy hates" him and he can't fix it, so Joey sputtered that he could try; Jen said, "Oh, hello, messenger" to Jack, and then killed him; Joey said that she and Pacey spent three months at sea, but didn't come close to weathering the storm. Of clichés. And skillets. And anvils. And the tidal wave of Maalox that I pray envelops Manhattan in a swamp of cherry-flavored stomach-soothing goodness.
Fade up on English class, with the teacher calling The Two Gentlemen Of Verona "not one of the Bard's best, but an interesting apprentice piece nonetheless." As he walks the room all John Keating and talks about Silvia as an early version of Juliet, we pan to the back of the room, where Drue "But Soft, What Shite Through Yonder Window Breaks" Valentine plays with Joey "My Mistress' Eyes Are Nothing Like The Spine" Potter's hair. Joey whips around and tells him to knock it off, or next time she'll "draw blood." We're waiting, girlfriend. Drue adopts a butter-wouldn't-melt-in-my-mouth mien and tells her, "It's your own fault -- I'm new here, and you're not being very nice to me." Joey mutters, "I'm not trying to be." Drue points out that Joey's not "very popular," so she can turn around now: "You're of no use to me." Joey sets her jaw and prepares to deliver a stinging retort, only to get busted for talking by the teacher and asked to share with the class "what The Two Gentlemen Of Verona is all about." Joey cringes and stammers for a moment, and the teacher tells her to speak up because he doesn't "speak mumble," and Joey rallies with, "It's about a girl who comes between two guys." The teacher makes a joke about Two Guys, A Girl, And A Pizza Place which, while probably funnier than any of the jokes on that show, doesn't get so much as a pitying chuckle from the class. Or from the recapper. The teacher asks what Joey thought of the play, and she dismisses it as unrealistic, characterizing Valentine as a "cardboard-cutout hero" and saying that Proteus "is unfairly painted as a villain." A few seats over, Dawson "Titus Foreheadicus" Leery shoots her a "whaaaaat?" look as she finishes, "I just think these scenarios are actually a lot more complicated," a comment Dawson responds to by snorting aloud. The teacher urges Dawson to elaborate on his "little chortle," and Dawson reluctantly does so, flicking his eyes at Joey intermittently while saying that he doesn't think the play's about a girl coming between two guys, but rather about the friendship between the two guys. "Which fails when the girl comes between 'em," Joey sneers.