Dawson's Creek
The Valentine's Day Massacre

Episode Report Card
The Valentine's Day Massacre

The group starts to head in, but Caufield mentions an entrance fee. Pacey makes a weak joke about a five-dollar cover, which if memory serves is way more realistic than what happens next -- and by the way, what’s up with Caufield’s Vergil-the-spirit-guide routine, anyway? Nobody acted like that in high school. You showed up, you parked a few blocks down, you sidled in the back door and ponied up to the host’s older brother for the beer, and you started drinking, period. Nobody made this big a Mission: Impossible deal out of it. Okay, so Caufield brings over a tray of bitty little cups and says that if they want to come in, they each have to "down one of these bad boys," and again I must object. A Jell-O shot is not a "bad boy." A slug of Jack Daniel’s is a bad boy. A kamikaze is a bad boy. A Jell-O shot is a girlie drink, and those Jell-O shots wouldn’t get a newborn infant tipsy. Well, now that I’ve made myself sound like a complete sot, back to the recap. Pacey says, "Thank you, Mr. Cosby." Kate says, "Red. Pretty," then slurps hers down like a pro and says, "Yummy." Jack shoots his. Caufield passes the tray between Andie and Joey, saying, "Betty? Veronica?" Andie begs off because she has to drive. Joey says icily that she’d love to, and she knows he’s dying to hold her hair back when she vomits up "that nasty keg beer," but she’ll have to take a rain check. Nice attitude to throw at the host, Joey -- and why did you come, again? And why haven’t you left yet? Caufield stares at her with the patented frat-boy-ignoring-sarky-girl smile of condescending blandness, then passes the tray to Dawson, who reaches for a cup. "You’re actually considering participating in this nonsense?" Joey asks him. Dawson furrows his brow as Pacey tells Joey to let Dawson decide for himself. Joey says that "this isn’t you," and again Pacey jumps in before Dawson can respond and points out that Joey’s concern for Dawson "is starting to border on pathological." Dawson tells them both to lighten up and shoots his Jell-O. Joey stares at him and looks as if she might start to cry. Kate smiles smugly. Joey turns and walks away, and Andie follows her; Pacey and the others walk off in a different direction.

The date. Jen admits that "everything’s turned out really nicely," and as she continues to talk, Henry just sits there looking faint. Jen tries to get his attention, and he snaps back into it, saying he "was just resting" his eyes. Then he swoons to the floor, bringing a bunch of plateware and cutlery down on top of him.

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Dawson's Creek




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