Dawson's Creek
To Be Or Not To Be… (1)

Episode Report Card
To Be Or Not To Be... (1)

Props to Strega, owen, KR, and Sars.

For once, it's actually worth mentioning what happens in the scenes from this week's episode, if for no other reason than the announcer's deathless overstatement: "She [Joey] gave up the love of her life [Dawson] for the comfort of a stranger [Jack]. Now that stranger reveals something private -- something Capeside won't forget." Whoa daddy.

We open in the Sanctum Dawsonorum, where Dawson "King Vitaman" Leery and Pacey "Lover" Witter are examining a scale model of the town, constructed by Jack "Tinky Winky" McPhee. Make no mistake: This is a scale model of professional quality, and is surely more than Jack could have been able to whip up in the spare time he's had since last week, but whatever. Dawson praises Jack's work effusively; Jack asks what Dawson needs it for, seeming concerned that Dawson intends to blow it up. Dawson reassures him, "There's no asteroid in my movie," and tells him it's for establishing shots and such. Pacey says it's "amazing what a little camera trickery can do," then excuses himself, saying he has a ton of homework to do, "including Peterson's assignment which I haven't even started yet." At this reminder, Jack recoils and says he hasn't started either. Dawson can't resist an opportunity to needle Pacey, and comments, "Pacey Witter is leaving early to do homework. Huh huh! Slightly less believable than an Enquirer headline." Pacey agrees that it's a disgusting habit. Dawson giggles some more and says, "Thanks guys, I'll see you later." Jack says he can stay. Dawson says he's just going to do a test shot. Jack says that's okay, and that he'd like to see it. Dawson says that's cool, and looks at Pacey. Pacey looks slightly surprised at Jack's offer to stay, but says nothing other than that they shouldn't stay up too late since it's a school night. At Pacey's departure, Dawson tells Jack, "Speaking as his closest friend, your sister has had quite a profound influence on him." Jack says, "Well, relationships will do that." Cut to the quick, Dawson turns, and utters, "Yeah" through his clenched jaw and walks over to the camera. Jack says, "Sorry. I didn't mean that the way that came out." I have no comment on his choice of phrase. Dawson stammers, "This hasn't been the easiest of situations for either of us, but your help on this film has been so significant, I just..." Oh, I get it. As long as Jack is willing to prostitute himself working on Dawson's lame-ass movie, all is forgiven between them? Whatever. Jack says, "So we're cool?" Dawson says "yeah" and asks what "this Peterson thing" is about. Jack says, "Eh, a poem. He wants us to write about something that's critical to our being, whatever; it's just another assignment I'm going to screw up." Dawson says, "It's a poem; it can't be that hard," thus neatly encapsulating the popular misconception that convinces too many teenagers, and too many sub-par pop stars, that they are competent poets.

Jack starts buttering Dawson up (FIGURATIVELY) by saying, "You know, I read your script. Uh, you're the expert writer here. Uh, any advice as to how to get to the good stuff?" Dawson unfortunately chooses to answer rather than demur due to his own inexperience, and says, "Um, listen to yourself. My writing's about opening up, you know? It's a chance to offer the world a peek at the very private part of yourself that you'd otherwise just stifle." Sometimes those things are better off stifled, but whatever. Jack confirms that he has heard right: "So, just listen to myself." Dawson asserts, "Yeah. I mean, you never know what you'll hear." Dawson asks Jack to hit the lights, and says again, "The perfect creek-side village," and focuses on the model No-Fault Hacienda, and then we see it in a monitor, and then the camera on the show cuts to a shot of the real N-FH, and it's all clever and post-modern and stuff. Except for the clever part.

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Dawson's Creek




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