Props to Demian for posting the picture of Dawson crying on the forums, to Liz, our own Deep Throat, and to Sars, who'll be taking over my half of the show next year. Sars, you know I'm always here for you in the unlikely event that you run out of jokes to make about Dawson's hair/head/jaw/behaviour/virginity/smell. But I don't think you will.
This year on Dawson's Creek? Okay, fine. Joey came on to Dawson. Dawson turned her down cold -- and I do mean cold. Dawson asked Pacey to look out for her. Pacey and Joey fell in love. Dawson made an ass of himself upon discovering it. Mick Jagger phoned Dawson and performed a special rendition of "You Can't Always Get What You Want," but Dawson put the phone on mute. Sars and Wing Chun logged a total of ninety-three hours and over $8000 in long-distance charges on the Not! Line.
It's a sunshine day in downtown Capeside. Dawson "Jaw-liver Stone" Leery and The Flash run into Joey "Boomerang" Potter and The Once and Future Bride of Flash, who are loaded down with shopping bags, emerging from a boutique. The Flash greets his bride-to-be "and her maid of honour," like how sad is it that Gale -- a woman surely pushing forty if not pulling it -- has to ask her son's teenaged friend to stand up for her at her wedding? Doesn't she have a college roommate? A former colleague at the TV station? A current colleague at the restaurant? Hell, even Grams would be a more appropriate matron of honour than Joey. Anyway, the Flashes embrace, and she yammers on a bit about the dresses and the cake, and then they take off down the street to make more plans for their sad little retreading -- oops! I mean "wedding." Watching them go, Dawson comments that his parents are as happy as he's ever seen them, and he and Joey awkwardly chit-chat about the ring. When Dawson asks after the dresses, Joey briefly complains about "the unflattering nature of bridesmaids' dresses," and Dawson effusively assures her, "I'm sure you'll look amazing," which is met with even more awkward silence, so he thanks her "again" for agreeing to be his mother's maid of honour. Joey casually says that it was an honour when his mother asked her, and that she couldn't refuse. Dawson, naturally, fails to notice that Joey is deflecting all talk of her involvement in this affair away from him, and says, "I know it means a lot to her, but it also means a lot to me. I couldn't imagine you not being a part of the ceremony [but...it's not your wedding; why should you imagine anything about it?], and in spite of any awkwardness that this might stir up --" "You know what? It's an important day for your parents, and I'm not counting on it changing either of our lives, so it's not going to stir anything up unless we let it, right?" Joey blurts, actually saying everything appropriate to the situation, for once. Dawson, a little nonplussed, says, "My point exactly -- yeah." Joey tries to scurry off, saying she has something borrowed but nothing blue yet -- isn't that just for the bride? -- but before she can escape, Dawson intones, "Shouldn't be too hard. Seems to be some of that going around these days." Huh?
Sars: Not! Line.