Back in Testosterone Town, Dawson steps onto the boat. Jack calls his name. Dawson dismissively says, "Jack, whatever it is, it's late and I've had enough drama for one night." Well, in that case, Dawson, better not create any more than you already have, you cretin. Jack says, "I think I'm going to be nauseous [sic]." At this news, Dawson smirks. Jack says that he's been fighting seasickness all day: "I've been trying to play cool, but ever since I stepped foot on this boat, I just want to barf." "I know the feeling," says Dawson curtly. Oh, shut UP. Dawson adds, "This isn't exactly how I envisioned this father-son outing," like, is that supposed to be sympathy? How about offering to help out the guy who's just told you he's in imminent danger of VOMITING, you self-absorbed little dink? Jack says simply, "Well, I wouldn't know. I haven't had a father-son weekend in a long time." Dawson knits his enormous brows at this and gingerly sits down: "Where is your dad, Jack?" Jack says, "I'll tell you where he's not: he's not here. Of course, if you ask my mother or my sister, they'll tell you he's up in Providence, taking care of the business. The truth is he's up in Providence because he left us." Sars tells me that, for people on Cape Cod, Providence is down, not up. I shall take her word for it. Dawson, as usual, makes it about himself: "I know how that feels." Jack disgustedly points out, "Dawson, your father moved up the street. My father's gone. Try and put that in perspective, huh?" Dawson rears up to deliver some scathing rejoinder, and yet, nothing comes. Maybe that's because JACK SHUT YOU UP. Please remain so until further notice.
On another part of the waterfront, Pacey has his arm around a pitifully staggering, very drunk Sheriff, who very quickly gets too heavy and collapses on the beach, grunting, "We've run aground!" Pacey looks down at The Sheriff, who is making little smacking noises with his mouth. Pacey says, "So. I guess this is as good a time as any to have that father-son talk. [Lowers his voice a register] So. How're you doing in school, Pacey? [In his normal voice] Well, actually, Dad, I'm doing all right. I'm really turning things around. Turns out I'm pretty smart. Maybe I'm college-bound. [Sheriff voice] Good man, Pacey. Always knew you'd turn out to be something. How're the ladies treating you? [Pacey voice] Ah. I met this woman. [Sheriff voice] Is she cute? [Pacey voice] Huh. Cute? Andie's beautiful. She's smart, she's funny. I'll tell you, this girl's really something special, Dad. For whatever reason, she seems to think I'm pretty special too. So why can't you see that? Hm? Why can't you see me, man? [Voice starts to break] When did you give up on me, when I was five? Hm? Ten? Twelve? I'm sixteen years old, Dad! And I'm here, and I'm not perfect, and I've tried so hard for you, I just [sobbing now]...it's your job. It is your job to love me no matter who I am or what I become, because you're my father! You're my dad! You're supposed to love me, you son of a bitch. I can't do this by myself." Nice job by Joshua Jackson selling that one. I just want the writers to realize that just because Joshua Jackson pulled that off doesn't mean they should see what kind of chops Van Der Beek has for this sort of thing. Ever.